You can't fix everything.
I haven't been blogging much of late because I've been in what can only be described as a really ugly blue funk.
For those of you that are tuning in late, I have been undergoing treatment for macular edema and proliferative diabetic retinopathy since March of this year. These two conditions have robbed me of visual acuity and the ability to focus. Translating that into day-to-day terminology, I no longer read for pleasure because it's a real effort to focus on printed words. I have no real idea of what my youngest grandson looks like. It's a wonder that I haven't amputated several fngers with that new set of Guy Fieri Knuckle Sandwich knives I bought myself for Christmas.
Unfortunately, this isn't something that can be fixed with prescription lenses because it's caused by damaged blood vessels in the back of the eye. In any case, the treatment involves injections directly to the eye and laser treatments. To say that they are uncomforable and unpleasant would be, well, underplaying it a bit.
My retina specialist feels that he has accomplished everything that he can medically and so he referred me back to my ophthalmologist to see if removing the insignificant cataract in my left eye might be useful (the right eye is a goner and is not a candidate for surgery). Off I went with a spring in my step and hope in my heart.
After two hours of repetitive testing and measurement, I finally saw the doctor. He reviewed my chart, asked me some questions and performed a standard vision test. Then he said, "I'd be happy to schedule you for surgery, as long as you understand that it will be of absolutely no benefit whatsoever. In fact, I think you will be disappointed with the outcome."
I have to give him points for his honesty.
And I have to say that all too often we become complacent about the medical miracles available to us today. As in "I won't rush to take care of that, they can fix it later". Maybe they can, and maybe they can't. In my case, there is no fix, and while treatments are advancing every day and surgical methods are being refined all the time, the human retina seems to be one of the last bastions that is one of the creator's well-kept secrets. So take care of what you have while you have it, it can disappear all too quickly.
n/a 12 years ago
I'm very sorry to hear of your vision problems. However, everything you described I went through in 1998. I too cannot read for pleasure any more. So after 12 years I can tell you, you do manage to compensate and learn ways to use the little vision you have. You're right "they can't fix everything", but we can fix a few things on our own. I went through years of depression. Then came kidney failure from diabetes. That made the vision thing take a back seat to "most depressing trouble". Now I'm very grateful for the poor vision I have. I'm also grateful for the dialysis machine in my bedroom. It's keeping me alive to see the distorted world I view with my much appreciated eyes.
Elizabeth2010 12 years ago
Take care, look after yourself and I hope that your health picks up. Liz xx
ladydocisin 12 years ago
When I come here and read all the sweet comments that you all have left, I always feel much better about my situation. There are no dark days in my life, just some gloomy ones!
jimmyt44 12 years ago
How much is one human supposed to stand? I'm sure Job felt this way. They tell me that God won't give you anymore than you can handle. It sometimes seems that He has alot more confidence in us than we do in ourselves. You must rate very highly in His opinion, as you do in ours (the members of this board). God Bless.
Dr Marcus Welby 12 years ago
We've discussed this before, and I can only share how much I respect you for the manner in which you are dealing with the medical challenges before you. Hope can be an eternal light; and, it is my prayer that your light is bright enough to see well into the future, and bring you to a better day. I am
Lady Teddy 12 years ago
Oh, my dear LadyDoc, I have been wondering how you have been doing these days. Your strength always amazes me regarding your health challenges. Thanks for keeping us informed.
I wish that we could give you a long group healing hug from everyone on the EC board.
Hugs from the west coast,