And so it goes...

My partner and I just spent eight interesting days together, he's back home and I'm settling back into my normal routine after a week of being "spoilt rotten". I decided to put things down on virtual paper while the afterglow is still with me. I'll get to the important business of unpacking and reorganizing later. We got much more accomplished on this trip than I thought we would. We always make a list of things we would like to get done but it's not very often that we make a substantial dent in said list.

After he arrived, we checked in at our hotel and had a brief play session and then we were off to dinner. Another play session after dinner and then I finally got to do something I've been missing for seven months - fall asleep in his arms. Tuesday was kind of a busy day; we went to Home Depot to get some flowering plants to put in the big pots in front of my apartment and then we went home to visit with the dogs and put those plants in dirt. We took care of a few more errands and then it was time to go back to the hotel to start the prep for my colonoscopy the next day.

Let me just say this about the prep; it's just not that big a deal., I'll grant you that it's not pleasant, but it's only part of a day and a night out of your life every three to five years. As my partner said to me "cowboy up and get it over with". So here's what we did. I took the Dulcolax pill at noon. That pill is deceptive; it looks like a pink M&M on steroids. For all its innocence, it packs a wallop. At about 2:30, he started giving me enemas. He knows how much I dislike them and how they stress me out but he was very slow and considerate. I was actually able to take and retain more than a cup of water at a time, and I finally started to be able to breathe through some of the urgency. Who knows, I may just get the hang of this by the time I'm 80!

By this time, it's about 6 pm and partner's tummy is making those angry grumbly rumbly noises. Just because I can't eat doesn't mean he shouldn't so I sent him off to get himself some dinner. So this is a good segue to tell you about how to get yourself through 24+ hours of no solid food. Here's what I consumed that day; Jello (the extra-yummy sugar-free variety), beef broth, iced tea, Jello, soda, water, Jello, some root beer Icy Pops, Jello. Did I say about the Jello? I can officially attest that I hate the stuff. The only time I ever eat it is when I'm sick or in the hospital. I have to say, I never felt hungry during my prep, but I did miss the social activity of eating.

While he was at dinner, I started drinking the prep solution. I've heard and read all kinds of horror stories about how torturous the stuff is. I had a 16 oz. insulated sports dringk bottle and I had mixed the prep earlier and put it in the fridge. It was ice cold by the time I started to consume it. I didn't use any of the flavor packets that came with the prep because I had heard how horrendous they were. I came armed with several varieties of Crystal Light drink mix. I chose the citrus blend flavor to start with and that's what I stuck with throughout the prep. If you get the solution really cold, drink it through a straw and drink it really fast (no ladylike sips here), it goes down quite easily.

After himself came back from dinner, he offered me another enema. By this time, I had finished consuming the prep solution and was feeling quite full, a little bloated to tell you the truth. I thought an enema might relieve what was rapidly becoming a bit of an uncomfortable situation. Whe he was in the bathroom filling the bag, I experience that sudden unmistakable feeling of impending doom. All I could say as I raced past him to the throne was "STAND BACK"! Phew, made it in time. As I was sitting there, the feeling of fullness, bloating, discomfort and doom grew stronger and stronger. Then, with very little further warning, WHOOOSH! As we used to say when I lived in New Hampshire, "like green cahn (corn) through the new maid." Talk about emptying the contents of your intestines. I'll dispense with any further details except to say that I was clean, clear and done with the prep by 9 pm. We were actually able to get some sleep that night.

There was one piece of advice that I was given by a member of this very forum (and you know who you are); if you have an unreliable sphincter or are a long distance from the bathroom, wear diapers and plastic pants to bed that night, just in case. It's not too much to do for peace of mind and some sleep.

The procedure itself was a breeze. That versed/Demerol cocktail is lovely stuff. I nodded right out and woke up holding my partner's hand. The only vague recollection I have is of the nurse cleaning me up, but then I was out like a light again. The doctor told my partner that he removed two "substantial" polyps, found a few areas of diverticulitis, and a couple of hemorrhoids. That last was a complete surprise to me; they are totally asymptomatic. Pathology reports are back on the polyps; one of them was precancerous but since it was removed, it's a non-issue.

The doctor will see my pretty backside in five years!