A spoonful of sugar

I am scheduled to undergo my first colonoscopy on June 29. I have attained the age where a screening colonoscopy is appropriate and it is a required diagnostic as part of evaluation for kidney transplant so in a way I'm killing two birds with one stone.

I was chatting with my medical fetish partner prior to my consultation with the gastroenterologist and I jokingly asked "should I schedule the colonoscopy for the week you're here?". Somewhat to my surprise he said "You know, that might not be such a bad idea. I can help you with the prep, drive you to the appointment, be there when you wake up, talk to the doctor with you, and make sure you recover okay."

I'm not dreading the actual procedure nearly as much as I am the prep for it. I've read and heard all about the polyglycol laxative prep and the unpleasant side effects. As a diabetic, I'm not looking forward to the prospect of going without solid food for 24 hours while trying to maintain stable blood glucose numbers. Having stage 4 chronic kidney disease poses all kinds of electrolyte issues but all my doctors seem to think the prep is "relatively" safe and the benefits of screening colonoscopy far outweigh the potential risks. Well okay, if you say so!

Then my genius partner comes up with an idea that makes the entire procedure almost "palatable", if you'll pardon the pun. Why don't we make this prep part of one of our scenarios? My aversion to receiving enemas and the consequences are well known to my partner but he also knows that he is the only person that I will receive from. His idea is to start this "patient" off with some liquid glycerin, followed by a small enema. When he discovers that this treatment has been less than completely effective, then it is time to resort to the oral prep.

Combining drudgery with play is a lot like Mary Poppins' idea of a spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down.

If there is interest, I'll post another blog to advise my readers as to how it all went down, as it were!