I have always been very cautious, and I still am, but I am doing something out of character for me. Tomorrow I am getting on an airplane and flying to meet a fellow zity member. I have never done anything like this. Ever.

I am the girl that saved her virginity for "the right one" until it nearly shriveled up and closed forever. I was nearly 30 before I ever met anyone worthy of giving myself to. My mom always taught me to be cautious and careful. I am sure the church school I went to put some of these values in my head as well. I don't remember getting sort of sex Ed from them u til I was in the 7th grade, and it was all about v.d. as I recall.There were a few guys I would have probably slept with, but for one reason or another, it never happened.

Then I moved away from home, down to San Diego from Los Angles. I met my ex, and knew him for a couple of years before we started dating. I decided I wanted to give myself to him. I liked him a lot. I got to where I loved him even. I made excuses for him when I shouldn't have, but what's done is done and to be honest, I would probably do it over again, and then leave when things got bad. Verbal and emotional abuse are not fun to live through. Neither is the occasional physical abuse, but that didn't happen often, and I hit back.

My 15 or so years of marriage came to an end in 2013, when he texted me that he wanted a divorce, yes, you read that right, he texted me. I was trying to recover from an emergency eye surgery (detached retina and 8 tears in it as well). I was here in Kentucky helping my friend out through a tough time. Anyway long story short, I answered his text back with a "Fine!". I was done with him calling me and yelling at me over the phone for something that was impossible to do. I decided to stay here in Kentucky.

A friend of ours (my best friend and I) is very into BDSM. I was messaging her on Facebook and was asking her about it. She said if she thought I was interested she would tell me. I told her I really was, so she shared lots of info with me and talked to me about it. She had a friend that was a Dom and would train submissives. I met him and life changed. Fun and kinky sex! My best friend thought I was nuts when I told her what I was going to do, Then the more we talked about it the more interested she became. Life changed. Modesty flew out the window. We have been playing with our Dom about 2 1/2 years.

I had known about zity for years before I joined. I loved the stories! I pictured myself being the one the stories were about. I wanted that! Finally I joined and started meeting people on here. Some talked a big game about coming here to see us and play with us. They never showed when it all boiled down to it. Some, we really thought would come. Some were complete assholes. We (my friend and I) learned to be skeptical of anyone that said they would come.

Then in December, I had to get a shot of steroids in my butt. I wrote about it on one of the discussion pages and that is where this story truly begins. I met HIM. I will leave it up to himto say who He is on here. But he messaged me. We started talking. We became friends. We chatted in here, sending private messages to each other. Then it was email, texting and now Skype.

Oh my gosh you guys! I think I have found a winner. This man....is so sweet and nice! We talk almost every day. He always makes time for me, even if it's just for a few minutes. He can even tell my dogs apart. He knew which was which. No one has bothered with that before! He was there for me when my Sweet Letty (my 1 year old dog) was so sick. He was there for me when she died, a month ago on Saturday). He said he's no good at these things, but he did fine. He did just fine.

So we want to meet in real life. He can't get away from home until summer. Even just a short and quick trip would not be possible yet. So he asked if I would like to come up there, to Connecticut. Oh would I! The "old" Breaze would have said NO!

I am leaning that sometimes we have to take chances to find that something or someone special. Sometimes you just have to jump right in, feet first. Tomorrow, I am jumping. I am going to visit him.

When I told my mom, she freaked out. She was against it. She is still worried about her baby (I am the baby of the family, always have been, always will be, no matter how old I get!). Other friends are worried too. I understand it, but I am not worried. If I was I wouldn't have said yes. I have a few I have to text every day, or call.

But I am EXCITED! I know he is too. He has been busy buying things for this visit..lots of fun toys, a massage table and more. Not only will it be a getting to know you weekend, it's going to be a fun play weekend too!

I am jumping in with both feet!!!!


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