Infinite
Random Thoughts..... One of the things that struck me when I found this wonderful site wasn't just that others felt like I did, but the fact that so many of us have life partners that we dearly love, but who don't, won't or don't even know about the things that arouse us. A common theme throughout the different fetish rooms seems to be: "How can I get my wife, husband, lover or even friend to participate or even accept my secret desires". How does this happen? Is it because the attraction of opposites to each other is a double edged sword. Or is it because in our insecure desire to be accepted by someone who attracts us, we end up repressing our desires with the rationale that we will gradually break it to them or that it's just not that necessary to our happiness at the time.
All I know is that as I have aged and hopefully evolved somewhat from a typical orgasm driven man my desire and even my NEED for participation in and satisfaction from some of societies taboo activities has gotten stronger and more insistent to the point of daring to find it elsewhere. As a man this scares me because I have seen the vitriol and sheer vindictiveness of women who found out their husbands were having some kind of intimate sexual activities outside of their marriage. I love my wife and don't want to ever hurt her, but as my primary sex organ has morphed from my cock to my brain, her libido has retreated into a sewing and baking fetish.
I would like to hear other's experiences about this either publicly or privately.
Maybe I think too much.
In continuing my thoughts about sexually incompatible relationships I wonder how men and women consider themselves a truly married couple when there is no or almost no physicallity involved. As I meet people in this fine circle of friends, it's noticeable that most of us here are alone in our desire for something different in our sexual relationship. Alone as in, "No Harold, I won't let you insert that hose in my ass" or "No Harold, I won't insert that hose in your ass either" type of marriage. Where is the trust and understanding between husbands and wives.
I used to feel like it was just us horny men who liked things in our asses because we were gifted with a prostate (btw, I'll trade any woman my prostate for her multiple orgasms!), but this site has opened my eyes up to many anally oriented women who desire the same thing. The problem is they are in the same boat as the men in here. It seems like their husbands are in possesion of the "stay away from my ass" gene and they feel like they're anally curious wife is strange.
Ther are many wonderful suggestions in here as to how to involve a reluctant partner, but I am very curious (as some of you already know) to find out how many people were able to convince their SO to try something new.
Repressed desires?
I think the most interesting thing for alot of us would be to find out what the general population is repressing. I don't mean what sexual thoughts your coworker or sister-in law may be holding back, but just the average bunch of people we come into contact with every day. We are lucky to have this site to let us know others are aroused by the same things we may have repressed for years or even decades, but wouldn't it be something to know that say, 43% of the population engages in some form of anal play or that 68% of the population engage in some level of oral sex and how much of thses behaviors are one way in a relationship. I bet there are a lot of folks who want to receive whatever rather than give. I know it would probably be good info in our discussions with our partners.
Comments
ladydocisin 13 years ago
I think this sounds like a job for Alfred Kinsey, or a newer incarnation!
Oops
Webmaster was kind enough to tell me my blog was in limbo. I am a complete noephyte at blogging and I didn't know I needed to add another page/comment so that others could reply and hopefully add to the discussion. I hope this works because I would really like to hear from other people on the subject I first posted.
Please consider adding your thoughts and maybe getting it out in this form may help someone or at least help me understand why caring partners refuse to humor their partner's private desires.
Comments
red2qt 13 years ago
Thank you, couldn't have said it better. I have alot of the same concerns!
skybear -N Florida 13 years ago
The significant other being on the outside of our little kinks is a problem. Hopefully the best friend (female) and my wife never compare notes or I am in big trouble. Or have her vanilla hubby figure out that this is is friends with benefits, otherwise she may have left him years ago.
The Wiffie is opening a few doors after years of coaxing. Too bad about all that wasted time. Once they relax and enjoy being kinky it is amusing how horney they become.
What goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors... except for the blogs.
Webby 13 years ago
Bravo Wandrin,
you managed to add pages.
Comments
soloeagle 9 years ago
I also am in the same situation, my wife and I have had no physical contact in 10 years. When we first married she was 'on fire' and wanted sex all the time, which I could mostly provide. I had not let my fondness for enemas out of the closet until we had been married for 5 years. To her credit, she tried to get involved and we worked at it for a couple years. By then I had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and ED so my ability to have sex decreased. One day she told me she got nothing out of enemas and anal play and I could continue on my own but not in her presence. So that is where I am now. I take enemas weekly and still enjoy them. She has gone thru menopause and is not interested in anything sexual, even masturbation. We still enjoy doing many things together but sex and enemas are not included. This forum gives me much pleasure because I can talk openly about my fetish with like minded people.
female-ass-lover-girl 12 years ago
I agree! My email addy is:dirtykaren1234@gmail.com.
lovies
Karen
n/a 12 years ago
First of all , I applaud the way you wrote what you did. Such a classy take on the sexless or almost sexless marriages, the morph from cock to brain, the libido of your SO going south. I am a victim or student of all of these things myself. So much in fact that the last 7 years of marriage have been exclusively as parents to our children. Yet, my desires do not fade. If anything they grow stronger , perhaps since I know that at my age, opportunities are being lost...my libido may not last forever...all of those things.
Granted,some of my kinks are a bit over for alot of people but even when I asked for compromise I wa met with a resounding no.
I look orward to hearing more from you and feel free to ask anything you like!
happygal 13 years ago
My marriage is completely sexless now, but he used to love to fuck, and even more he loved to give me an enema and fuck my ass. Now he has no interest in anything sexual, while I am still running at full speed.
We don't fight, everything else is normal day to day marriage-with-kids stuff. I don't even bring it up any more, other than the few times per year when I get fed up and can't seem to keep my mouth shut. It doesn't get me anywhere, so I have all but given up. He just isn't interested in sex at ALL. It's not that he doesn't get excited or aroused by me, he just doesn't get excited or aroused. Ever.
SO frustrating. I had to learn to masturbate and fantasize all over again, but finding time completely alone is not so easy in a busy household. So I come in here when I can.
xkv8r 13 years ago
didn't do me any good, with the ex or current significant other...........neither had any interest in enema enjoyment