Infinite

I decided I wanted to count my fetishes and rank them by strongest to weakest and I figured I'd share it.

1. Medical Fetish (Doctor/Nurse Play)

2. Painful spankings (Pain & Spanking)

3. Painful shocks (Pain & E-Stim)

4. Bondage

5. Submission (being submissive)

6. Humiliation

7. Exhibitionism

8. Discipline

9. Caging/Confinement

10. Domination (Being dominate)

11. Rectal temperature

The first 5 I would say are the most important for me, even though it's hard to draw a line. "Rectal temperature" was the last one I added to my profile, and oddly I never added Exhibitionism because that ties in so tightly with examinations and anything medical.

To me these fetishes overlap each other to some point. Especially 1, 4, 5, 6 and 7. Which merge into each other in such a way that it makes it hard for me to explain it to even myself. There is a certain feeling I get when asked to get undressed and wear a hospital gown, and it is especially exiting if I have to do it in front of the nurse and if I have to take my underwear off too that's even more exiting. And I can't really put that feeling into words. But it feels like a combination of being exposed, submissive and nurtured. And thinking about it feels SO good! That experience seems like it combines 1, 5, 6 and 7. Being restrained has a similar feeling to me combining 1, 4, 5 and 6 and that feels like being submissive, nurtured, secure, safe and comfy. It just feels so great. And being someone interested in how we think I tried to put my feelings into words only for words to seem to fall short. It's not easy to even explain what I feel and why to myself regarding this. In the beginning of my story Committed I imaged myself as John being put in the restraints and that's how I came up with his inner dialog. Obviously.

It says in chapter 2 of Committed, "I also allow myself to realize that I am feeling nurtured and loved. Yes, the johnnies, the restraints the locked seclusion room, that all feels so cozy, nurturing and pampering. There taking care of me. I’m submissive to them and that almost feels like I’m there little baby being taken care of."

So it's losing control and being forced to be in someone else's hands and control. But does that cover all of it? I'm not sure. Well the being exposed is humiliating and humiliation is feeling that you are below so they are in charge and you are submissive to them which means they are caring for you. So I think I can see how those kinks tie together.

I guess it is about letting go of responsibility. Even punishment ties into the submission. So I guess all 11 of my fetishes all tie together in some way. And the domination one is the opposite where I am doing this for someone else. For me being in the submissive role is having the dom do all this for me. And the attention part, can't leave that out. And domination is doing for the submissive. So the dom role is taking care of and the sub role is being taken care of.

Like I said on my profile, "I recently realized that my dominant and submissive tendencies are just from me wanting to love nurture, and be loved and nurtured."

Well I'm back in the groove. Typing more of my Zity story Committed. Recently uploaded 2 chapters (Chapter's 12 and 13) and I have two more chapters typed that I just have to edit and upload. And yes there is another sex scene in the chapters I will be uploading soon if you're wondering. And also those chapters I will be uploading soon (Chapters 14 and 15) they do get out of the hospital, finally.

It is really fun typing it. I guess writers/typers (I'll just say writers even though now a days they don't always start by hand writing first) write for themself first many times. I guess that is the best way to write. Create the world you want to create. Make it something you really enjoy first. And that is what I have done with Committed. I do go back and edit it to correct mistakes and occasional reward things in a way I find is clearer and sounds better.

This story is nearing the end which I am happy to say. I look forward to finally getting it finished. But there are some fun scenes ahead I am looking forward to typing.

I really enjoy typing stories and my thoughts about stuff. It feels good to create worlds and events through typing.

Thank you for those who have read some of Committed, and I hope you read more of it. You can leave a like on the chapters to let be know you read them and like them.

Check out my Story Contributions page on Zity to see stories I upload.

At the time of this writing I have two stories, Severe Punishment for a Speeding Ticket which is finished and Committed which I am still working on. But I have at least one more story I plan to do after that.

I am really thankful for this site and I want to send a special thanks to Webby and all those that work to keep this site running. It is great to have a place where I can express my kinky side freely. Some of the stuff I write on this site, especially my stories are not things I feel really comfortable attaching my real name to. Because I don't want just anyone knowing I wrote them. I'm sure just about anyone on here can relate to that. Some things about myself I just feel better about keeping private.

EDIT: I had put the wrong chapter numbers in this post. Was supposed to say Chapters 12 and 13 were uploaded and I will upload chapters 14 and 15. (At this point I have so far uploaded 12,13,14 and 15)

This is a short story that takes place in the virtual world of Second Life. In this world there is a place called Restrained Freedom for BDSM lovers like myself, and in there is an old insane asylum known as Paine Asylum where I am a patient. I am a patient there, however this time I ended up taking on the role of doctor in this understaffed hospital.

I was wearing a white shirt and blue pants. One of the patients was in a strait jacket in a padded seclusion room. She was waiting for her therapist, but since she hadn't arrived was hoping I could give her her therapy. This other patient wanted to be put to bed. So I put her to bed strapping her down onto the bed in the dorm nice and tight. I also put her in a strait jacket for added security. I know it is very orthodox a patient caring for the other patients, but what was I to do? These patients seriously needed help and the staff were no where to be found. She was very grateful to be strapped into the bed. And so I moved on to the other patient.

She explained that her therapist gives her electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) followed by hydrotherapy. How hard can that be to do? Luckily I had a key that I had hidden. So I used it to open the doors as we went to the ECT room. There I strapped her down on the table and applied the electrodes to her head. I asked her if she was ready and when she nodded I administrated the shock. Her body convulsed violently on the table as the sound of the electric current buzzed. And I did it again asking her if she was ready before shocking her. Again her body convulsed as the sound of electricity buzzed. She defiantly ended up having a seizure. I told her that was good that she had a seizure.

Next I carried her to the hydrotherapy room where I helped her take off her clothes and put her in the tub. I filled it up with cold water. I then covered the tub up.

I decided I wanted to take a bath too. So I took off all my clothes in front of her and laid in the other tub that was also in the room. I then filled the tub with hot water and grabbed the soap.

After a while I dried off and got dressed. A fairy then brought me to the dorm, put me in a strait jacket and strapped me to one of the beds. I thanked her and then she told me I was a "good patient".

I felt so comfy and secure strapped down to the bed with my strait jacket on. It felt really nice to help out my fellow patients.

PS I know I have not worked on my story "Committed" in a long time. I have been kind of in a funk. I promise I will work on it and finish it.

I really want to be serious about being consistent with this behavior therapy I thought to try on myself. It involves snapping a rubber band or giving myself an electric shock whenever I act out in anger and then logging it. I am going to try really hard to be consistent with this therapy.

If I can get through this month following my behavior therapy every single day, I will be proud of myself.

My plan is to wear a shock device every day so I can give myself the shocks.

I'd rather have the shocks then the rubber band snap. The shocks are a lot stronger, they even kind of hurt a little which is another thing I like about them.

Wish me luck. I'm wearing the shock device now.

I think this is a good therapy for me because I have a bad temper and lash out.

I really want to follow this therapy reliably and I ask that God helps me with that.

You see it can be hard to consistently follow a plan. It is easy to get off track. That's why I am determined to stay on track with this and stick with it every day.