“Stay on the table. I need to get some exam gloves.”

Anne then quickly walked out, leaving me alone in silence to contemplate what was in store for me. My heart was thumping as I considered that she would soon be pushing her finger up my bottom. Would it hurt? It struck me as the most humiliating thing that could happen to me, to have this woman put her finger inside me in this way.

She was back soon enough with a pair of beige medical gloves. She deftly stretched them over her long fingers as she addressed me, “I need you to stay still. It will help you to take deep steady breaths as you deal with the feelings you’ll be experiencing.”

She grasped my butt cheeks and spread me open again, taking a slow serious look, then she let go, and coated the first three fingers of her right hand, “Very slippery and well lubricated for your comfort, Mark.”

She spread me again and I felt the blunt oily tip of her finger up against my anus. “Now relax for me, Mark.”

And then I felt the most intense intrusion. It seemed as though the slipperiness of the oil made it hard for me to tell what was happening. There was a brief subtle sense of light touching or sliding, then just rapidly escalating pressure, then stretching of my anus, then an overwhelming presence in my rectum. The part of my body I most want to be in control of now felt completely out of control. Was she trying to make me have a bowel movement right then and there? It sure felt that way. I gasped and squirmed, “Uhh! Oh!! What are you doing?”

“Relax Mark, my finger is in your rectum. You need to relax as I check inside you.”

“It’s so uncomfortable! Are you almost done?”

“I’ll be done soon, but I need to check you thoroughly. This can’t be rushed. Be a big boy and hold still for me.”

I wanted to beg her to be more gentle with me, but her admonition to me to be a “big boy” was very effective at making me just grit my teeth and keep quiet. But I soon felt like she was pushing in even more deeply and sweeping around. I could feel her closed hand between my buttocks, slippery with oil as it twisted around and around in half circles as she probed that finger back and forth inside me. I felt like it had to end soon as I was reaching my limit, but she kept going in what seemed to be a frustrating casual and leisurely manner.

“Please stop! I feel like I really need to go! Please let me get up to use the bathroom!”

“I understand, Mark. It’s normal that have than intense urge when your rectum is being examined like this. I’ll be done soon.”

After a few more sweeps deep inside me, Anne withdrew her finger creating the sensation of a slippery mess. Anne came up alongside the exam table and started to peel off her glove, but before she could do this, I could see that her index finger was soiled from being inside me. To make matters worse, she then handed me some tissues to “clean up.”

I wiped my bottom self consciously and could see on the tissue that the exam had not ended cleanly on my end either. Anne noticed this two. She held up the wastebasket for me to toss the tissues and then handed me a few more clean ones to wipe again, the implication being that I must still be messy after just one wipe.

“You can go to the restroom if you feel you need to, Mark, but I think you’ll find that if you just sit and calm down for a few minutes, that feeling of rectal urgency will subside. I found the same situation that Dr Lipman found — your anus is abnormally tight and you seem to be unable to relax it properly. To make matters worse, you’re producing very hard stool. This is a combination that is certain to create trouble and I’m sure your efforts to have a bowel movement have made this clear to you as well. Fortunately, these are things we can remedy. We will start a program to gently stretch your anus and also to teach you how to properly relax it. We’ll also work on your diet to soften your stools. It’s going to be a busy month ahead for you!”