Dr K sat in between my mom's legs and asked her to move to the end of the table. My mom's feet were in the stirrups and her knees were bent. I couldn't see how open she was and how much the doctor could see. I was sitting next to her face.

"So Andy for this next part I'm just going to feel around your mom's vagina and make sure everything is healthy" he said as he snapped the gloves on. "Some women find this part uncomfortable but I always make sure my patients are well taken care of. Fanny why don't you tell Andy how this feels?" He said as he started doing a visual inspection and checking gently with his fingers.

"I just feel light touches right now. It's not painful or uncomfortable" my mom said. In the meantime the doctor opened a drawer and pulled a metal tool that looked very strange and put it up on full display.

"Andy this is a speculum. It is used to hold my patients vaginas all open for me so I can take samples. There are different sizes and it just takes a few minutes. The key here is to make sure my patient is very relaxed and taking deep breaths the entire time. Fanny let's show her how it's done".

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. That looked SO intense and painful. Was he going rally going to push it all in? And my mom was ok with this? I saw my mom close her eyes and take very long and deep breaths while the doctor put the speculum in and then I heard some clicking "that's it it's holding everything in place now. Keep breathing Fanny. You're doing great"

My mom was not complaining. But she was clearly not excited or enjoying it. This looked so painful. "Now Andy what I'm going to do next is just take a few samples to send to the lab. This is similar to what they do to you at the pediatrician to check for strep. It is very quick. Look how good your mom is. She's a great patient. I have no doubt that you will be too when I have you on my table" Dr K said as I saw him pull a very long q tip and a little brush. One by one he inserted them quickly and took them out and put them in a tube. My mom remained with her eyes closed and breathing

"Andy some patients find this part uncomfortable but it just takes a few seconds and I always teach them to close their eyes and breathe". My mom finally opened her eyes and she seemed relieved. "Are you ok?" I asked her. "Yes sweetie this is routine. It's just what women do. No need to be scared or worried".

The doctor then took a flashlight and looked around her vagina and said everything was good as he took the speculum out. Again I heard more clicking. I was very stressed and anxious thinking this would be me one day. But my mom seemed ok. My thoughts got interrupted by the doctor.

"Andy for this next part I'm going to have a feel with my fingers while I press on your mom's tummy. This is called the bimanual exam. No need to worry. I am not going to hurt her" my mom started breathing and closed her eyes again. It's like she knew what to do. She didn't even need instructions. The doctor felt around with her fingers and moved them in every direction. My mom was very still. I wondered if she would be complaining if I wasn't there.

He finally took his fingers out and asked me to follow him to his desk while my mom got dressed. I looked at my mom waiting for her approval and she told me to go. I sat across from the doctor.

"Well young lady I know this can be shocking and a lot of information. I wanted to see how you're doing and if you have any concerns" he said in a very mild tone. "That metal tool looks so painful" I said. "Well some women are more sensitive than others but it is not meant to be painful it's just a tool and it helps keep my hands free to do what I need to do. I promise that when you come to me we will take things slow ok?" I nodded. And smiled. Then my mom came all dressed and he asked me to wait outside while he talked to her.

A lot was going through my mind. But I also knew that I had no choice. At least I knew what to expect. I went back to watch my mom's exam the following year. Then the year after that it was my turn. I was 14 and had gotten my period for the first time a few months prior and it was very irregular.