”Number 17! I told you to get undressed!” The nurse was back, this time with a tall male in a long white coat at her side.

“Is it my turn?” Mia asked, reaching around her back for the clasp of her bra.

The nurse turned to the doctor as if to silently ask if this patient could still be seen in her current state of “not completely undressed” and he nodded silently in response.

“Bra off. Now.”

The doctor grabbed the cart next to the bed and wheeled it so it touched Mia’s bedside.

“Ok Mia, you can lay flat on your back for me here,” he said, not unkindly. “We’re looking at the left breast, correct?”

“Insurance wants a full internal scan,” the nurse interjected.

“I’m sure they do,” the doctor said as he hovered over Mia’s reclined body. “I’m going to just lift your arm above your head here…” he said, taking Mia by the left wrist and lifting her arm up over her head. She felt something soft touch her wrist and when she moved to adjust herself into a slightly more comfortable position, she was immediately alarmed to find that her arm was held tightly in place above her head. She could see the hands of both the medical professionals standing above her. What was her arm fixed to?!?

”I’ll just feel around here and do a quick manual exam…” the doctor indicated, not asking for permission. His large hands were immediately surrounding her left breast as he pushed and palpitated all around the tissue. His touch was firm and heavy and Mia winced as he kneaded and manipulated around the spot where she had felt the lump for herself. The doctor lifted his hands and she breathed a sigh of relief until he shocked and startled her by firmly and harshly pinching, pulling at and rolling his fingers around her nipple.

“Well, there is definitely something mass-like in there, we’ll see what the ultrasound shows. Meanwhile, let me just do a quick check of the right side and make sure everything feels ok on that side…”

Again, her arm was lifted for her - this time by the nurse - and fastened into place as her left arm was released. She immediately pulled her left arm down and wrapped it around her belly.

“Arm at your side, please,” the doctor said, pulling her arm off to her side and - once again - inexplicably trapped it into place against the edge of the bed she lay on. He repeated the same process as before on her right breast, taking what she felt was an agonizingly long time pushing and kneading at the sensitive tissue. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut as he found another incredibly tender spot near her rib cage and she audibly squeaked and gasped when she felt the harsh bite and pull of his fingers at her nipple.

“That breast feels healthy, but we’ll see what the scan shows…” Mia watched him wordlessly nod to the nurse and she felt her right arm maneuvered down and over to her side - inexplicably trapped in place at the side of the bed.

“Give us just a minute here as we get the right paddle ready…” the nurse said as she uncoiled wires and turned on a black monitor at the top of the cart.

“This will be nice and warm for you…” the doctor grabbed a large tube of gel and squeezed it all over Mia’s left breast. “Ready?”

Mia simply nodded wordlessly, what else could she say? It’s not like she could move out of her current position and she desperately wanted to get the whole ordeal over and done with. The doctor methodically moved the probe back and forth, up and down, and all around the swell of her left breast. Mia tried to watch the screen on the cart above her to see if she could catch a glimpse of whatever was happening inside of her body, but the visual output meant nothing to her. Even as she felt the doctor pressing the probe into the spot with the lump, she couldn’t decipher anything of concern on the screen. But what did she know - she wasn’t a radiologist.

“I think we'll do a biopsy just in case,” the doctor said without preamble, “Mia, we’ll go ahead and schedule your return for that in a few minutes once I head back to the office with your chart here. It’ll probably be at least another two weeks before we can get you in for that, we’ve been a bit overloaded lately. I’ll check your right side just to make your insurance happy here…” He moved around to the other side of the bed and Mia looked over to her left where he had been standing previously. Another young woman, maybe a year or two younger than she was, had been placed in the bed next to her and was staring back at Mia, eyes wide, as she sat on her bed in nothing but a flimsy paper gown that fell to her waist. Mia snapped her head back ahead and stared at the ceiling, wanting to die from embarrassment that this total stranger had just seen her completely bare breasted and nearly naked.

“Right side is good,” the doctor indicated, wrapping wires and placing the probe back on the cart. “I’ll have a nurse get you a gown that you can change into while you wait for your pelvic.”

Her arms were immediately unfastened from her sides and she wrapped both tightly around her chest and continued to stare at the ceiling, seething in embarrassment, fury and a terrible anxiety for what might await her from the gynecologist.