Eric's face looks pained as he begins listing off his self-improvement musts. "One, Nurse and Doctor Julia need to go away awhile. Tied together butt naked in a dungeon of my perverted thoughts." Two, no more porn or looking at artistic photos of nude women, it consumes my thoughts. And three, I want us to be able to be completely honest about everything. I am going to try really hard to be honest with you and be a complete open book."

Julia smiles with a sinister grin, "Anything goes, total honesty?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Will, you let me search your phone and leave it unlocked for me?"

"It is unlocked already, but needs recharged, starting tomorrow you can check it anytime after that?"

"Are you completely humiliated by me seeing your internet history?"

"Yes, I will tell you anything specific about what I have looked at in the past, but I don't want you to see everything all at once. Remember, this is why I feel bad about myself. Show some mercy and realize I am sorry."

"Granted! Ok, when was the last time you jerked off?"

"A week ago..."

"What did you jerk off to?"

"A dream I had of you being in the hospital getting your temperature taken rectally."

"One week, are you lying to me that is a long time not to ejaculate? What about yesterday?"

"You gave me a beautiful love squeeze and I woke up this morning... I had a wet dream."

"What did you dream of and what part of the dream specifically caused you to pop?"

"Nurse Julia and Doctor Julia circumcised me and gave me pain medicine in the butt and topical cream. Both of them told me about unusual bathroom habits they shared in order to keep me from ejaculating. Have you ever seen Harold and Kumar?"

"No, but we will definitely be discussing your dream in more detail later and watching that movie together!" What is your most shameful, embarrassing porn you have looked at?"

"Nude paintings of women my father did, I snuck them out of his closet and my mother caught me "enjoying them".

"Ouch, that sure qualifies! How old were? Is your dad some kind of an artist?

"I was 12, can we exempt dads from conversations?...It is only fair."