I show up at the office building ten minutes early to meet Cindy. Though I’m early, she’s at the reception desk apparently waiting for me.

“Kyle! Glad you’re here! Doing okay today?”

“So far.” Was all I could respond.

OK, let’s go back into the studio and review some things.

She led the way as we walked back. The studio is outfitted with lights on stands of varying heights, many with white umbrella-like reflectors. We head over to a long table with all kinds of bizarre-looking equipment and gadgets laid out in orderly rows.

“Kyle, I want to review some of the equipment and instruments we use. The appearance of these items can be very intimidating, but if you understand what they are for and how they are used, you’ll be much less anxious. Then I can help you pick what procedures and exam components we will do. You need a good understanding of all this to make a good, informed decision that you are comfortable with. Ask a lot of questions. It can be a bit embarrassing to talk about this for many people, but now is the time to overcome your shyness and educate yourself. Ready to start?”

I took in a deep breath and let it out, then nodded at Cindy, “Yep, ready to start.”

“Awesome! Here we go! I’m not going to spend any time on the stuff that’s already certain to be very familiar to you. I’m sure you’ve had your ears checked, your heart and lungs listened to, and all that countless times. He’ll then do a more detailed abdominal exam. After all that’s done, the doctor is going to take your temperature, and of course, it’s going to be a rectal temperature. It might have been quite some time ago since you had that done, so let’s take a look at the thermometer and discuss it a little.”

We start at the left end of the table, and Cindy picks up a thermometer. It’s clear glass and about 5 inches long. Thicker than what I would have expected, roughly the diameter of a Sharpie marker.

“This is what we use. It’ll be lubricated to slide in easily. We use these thicker models to provide a little more sensation for you. We are always seeking to capture your genuine natural reactions to what we do to you, so we need you to actually FEEL something. A super skinny thermometer is not likely to do that. One of us will hold it in place so it doesn’t pop out of you— just half a minute or so for us to get some good footage of the insertion and the removal. We want to keep the tempo of the exam moving along. Keep in mind that this will all be done with close-up filming. Trust me, it’s going to be awkward to have these bright studio lights shining on you and the camera person aiming a camera at your butt from two feet away. Try to pretend they’re not there and direct your attention to me or the doctor. Okay so far? Ya think you can handle this little thermometer up your butt?” She said this with a smile and giggle in a lighthearted teasing manner.

“I think so.” I tried to be brave and reply with the same light humor, but inside, I was dreading the idea of Cindy and two other people doing even just this simple thing to me.

“Okay, then next, the doc is going to do a genital exam. He’ll be seated on the stool and you’ll stand in front of him while facing him. He will palpate your penis and testicles. No pain or discomfort is likely, just the awkwardness of it. You should be aware that about 5% of young guys begin to get an erection from being handled in this way. Try not to sweat it if it happens. We’ll just run with it and incorporate it into the flow of the exam. If anything, it’ll spice things up.”

I just nod at Cindy’s broad smile and try to think of what I can do to make sure I don’t become erect.

“OK, next, the doctor is going to give you a rectal exam. Have you ever had that done before?”

“Never.”

“It’s going to be a bit intense. He’s going to insert his lubricated index finger up your bottom and feel around inside your rectum. It usually doesn’t hurt, but it can be uncomfortable and give you a feeling of needing to poop or like you might have an accident. He may ask you questions as he’s doing it. Answer truthfully. The more detailed, honest, and natural that your response is, the better. He’s going to check your prostate gland while he is in there. It might make you feel like you need to pee and may be uncomfortable or sometimes pleasurable. Keep in mind, with all of these components, we may have to repeat them to make sure we get good footage. If there is a shadow in the wrong place or the doctor’s hand obscures the view, then we repeat it, and you, when you sign on, you’re agreeing to as many repetitions as needed to get things right. Is that clear?”

“I guess so. How many times does it usually take? And how long does the doctor keep his finger in me?”

“It usually takes two or three times to get it right. He usually needs to keep his finger up your bottom for 20 seconds or so. You’ll do fine. When he takes his finger out, if there is any of your stool on his finger, he checks that for blood. We like to stage this so he is doing it right in front of you where you can see him. This helps us capture the embarrassing and invasive nature of this part of the exam.”

That sounded positively mortifying, and I was speechless. Cindy saw my shocked, blank face with my mouth slightly open and put one hand on each arm, looking me straight in the eyes. “I’ll get you through this, Kyle. I’ve done this with lots of newbies, and it always turns out okay. Ready for the next bit?”

I nodded in resignation.

“So… the doctor is going to announce that he could feel that your rectum was blocked with stool and that you’re constipated and that you need an enema. It doesn’t matter if you truly are constipated or not. And he also tells you he needs to clean you out more so that he can get a good look inside your rectum and that you need to be clean for that. For the enema, we’re going to use this.”

Cindy held up a 2-foot length of clear tubing about as thick as my index finger. It had two black squeeze bulbs dangling off one end. The other end was blunt and had several small holes along the sides of the tip. Close to the tip were two collapsed, folded bulges. When Cindy began to pump the first and then the second squeeze bulbs, the bulges quickly expanded to oval balloons bigger than goose eggs. She handed the device to me.

“So Kyle, this is a special type of enema nozzle. We’ll inflate it once it’s inside you. The inner balloon will expand inside your rectum. You’ll feel plenty of pressure inside. The benefit is it keeps you from accidentally expelling the enema, which is a fear that many novices have. But the presence of the inflated balloon inside your rectum is going to make you feel like you have to poop even before the enema starts to flow inside you. The outer balloon is just going to feel like a ball stuck between your butt cheeks plus a little snugness up against the outside of your anus. It’s more to keep the nozzle from sliding into you too far. That inner balloon needs to be right up against the inside of your anus to make a seal and prevent leaks. So the overall idea is everything is safe and securely locked in place with the two balloons sandwiching your anal sphincter. It’s kind of a brilliant invention that’s no doubt prevented many messy accidents over the years, but many patients dread it. Try to think positive and take some comfort in the fact that when the enema is filling you, you can relax a bit and let the balloons do the work of keeping everything neatly sealed up.”

My brain was spinning. It was really hitting home now, what I was getting myself into as this young woman was explaining what was in store for me. Second thoughts were creeping in yet again.

“There are other nozzles, but we really need to go with this type. Our audience base more or less insists on it these days. This is reflected in the compensation you would receive. Upwards of $1000 for the balloon nozzle. About $150 for just a standard nozzle. The final figure depends on the details of the expulsion, so let’s discuss that next. First, let me give you some background. Neither I, the doctor, nor our audience is into the scat thing at all. But for the audience, watching someone expel an enema is to erotically witness the scene of someone at their most private, vulnerable, and embarrassing moments. To provide that for our viewers, we want you rather exposed and with me and the doctor right there watching, listening, and talking to you. You would be squatting over an opaque white pail. I know this sounds overwhelming. Do you have any questions or concerns?”

I stood there in silence. I could not wrap my head around the idea of pooping in front of this friendly, attractive girl. “Uh, no, ….. Not yet. Just the obvious ones.”

“Okay, well, now is the time to talk and discuss. So, if we do the scene as I describe, you would be compensated $2500 just for this scene itself. If it’s simply too much for you, you can expel in the bathroom on the toilet by yourself with just an unmanned video camera on a tripod in front of you, and that would be a rate of $500.”

The choice was obvious, but I was too embarrassed to even say it. Just agreeing face to face with Cindy to submit to this was far too embarrassing.