I’m Doctor Tom, and I work at my local MEPS processing center giving physicals to military recruits before they process into the military. I’m a married gay man (35), and this is honestly the best job I’ve ever had. Easy physicals, straightforward hours, and for the most part VERY handsome guys to examine (military guys are almost always twink/twunky/otter guys which are my absolute favorite. I only work with one female doctor, and our male/female assistants (2 male, 1 female) respectively as it is a pretty small MEPS, we do about 15-20 recruits a day. Our assistants are the chaperones when we each do the opposite sex, but they also do the preliminaries like the vision, hearing and laboratory(urine, blood and breathalyzer) tests. During the urine test, it is witnessed 2 at a time with a stall between applicants with the applicant instructed to lower pants and underwear to knees and pull up their shirt to mid torso. All applicants are also fingerprinted, and that is how the sign in/out of each station.

Today I have 8 applicants and the female doctor has 4. Thankfully it’s a light day because one of my assistants is out sick so the female assistant and one male is doing the preliminaries for everyone. It moves pretty quickly since it’s pretty organized. Once the applicants are all done with the preliminaries they separate by gender and come to a main room with lockers on one wall and padded chairs. The chair area also serves as the waiting area for the private portion of the exams. This is also where the famous duck walk test happens, as well as body mass/height. As soon as I step out into the room to introduce myself and explain the tests to the day’s applicants, I see 4 very handsome guys. A red haired white guy named Kevin, a brown curly haired white guy named Alex, a Native American black haired guy named Evan, and a light brown haired white Italian guy named Mooky. I explain each test with my assistant who demonstrates them. Once complete I instruct the guys to undress completely and change into the provided paper exam shorts that look like boxers in the respective lockers and store their clothing/valuables. Our MEPS switched to these rather than the male underwear to avoid accidental exposures and provide standard modesty. The key is on a necklace which the applicant wears around their neck. Once all applicants have returned from changing, I examine 4 at a time for the orthopedic exams. Kevin(21), Alex(21), Evan(21) and Mookie (19)- all go first.

I always have them do the duck walk first to get it out of the way, since it’s what most of them are nervous about. The other exercises are stand and balance on each foot, walk on the heels/tiptoes and normal, close the eyes and touch nose, wiggle fingers and toes, and show the soles of feet to check for skin condition and flat feet. The guys all pass easily. While I examine the other four with the same exam, my assistant weighs and takes the height of my first four. Kevin weighs 145 pounds and is 5’7”; Alex weighs 160 and is 5’9”; Evan weighs 160 and is 5’7” and Mookie is 5’11” and weighs 180.