She heard the door close and the doctor smiled down at her.

“I’ll need you to uncross your arms,” he said as he reached down and pulled one arm away. She didn’t want to indignify herself by letting him pry away the other. She lay her arms to the side of her body and allowed the doctor to untie the tight bow and push both sides of the gown away from her chest.

Her nipples immediately peaked against the chill of the room, she reached to pull the side opposite the doctor back up and over her exposed breast, but he stilled her hand with his own and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Amy, I prefer to examine the whole of my patient, not just one spot at a time. I need to visualize both breasts while I perform the exam in order to spot any possible abnormality.” Without any further ado or warning, he placed both of his hands over her right breast and began to meticulously palpitate, squeeze and massage with his fingers in concentric circles.

Amy averted her gaze away. Ugh! Why did it feel good to have him squeezing and pressing her breasts like that?! The deep, uneasy feeling within her only intensified, but morphed somewhat into something…different. Something that made her heart race.

Oh god. Her heart rate, would he be taking her vitals at any point soon?! She felt that it must have been racing a mile a minute. He pulled his hands away, walked around the back of her head to her other side, and just as unceremoniously, he began to manipulate and palpitate her left breast. Squeezing and pinching at spots, pinching and pulling at her nipple. She gasped as she watched him reach over with his other hand and pinch both simultaneously. She wanted to slap him.

“Perfect, no problems that I can feel myself, I’m guessing you are overdue to have a mammogram as well, or are you better at keeping up with that screening?” Dr. Kelly asked. Amy flushed a deep shade of red. If he just looked at her chart, she was sure he could see she had never had one.

“Depending on your follow up needs, we can either arrange for it next week during your follow up exam and - or - treatment, or I can put in an order for one at the site of your choosing, I recommend you get it done, dear.” Amy swallowed hard. “Now Amy, the rest of your exam from here on out, I’m going to have you lying flat on your back, so I’m going to lower the table now.” She immediately felt a mechanical whirring vibrating through her back as she was reclined further and further backward until she was, indeed, lying - rather uncomfortably - flat on her back. She had no choice but to relax her thighs slightly. She assumed she’d have them spread wide within minutes anyway.

“Normally I’d check your heart rate now, but your pulse is so fast, I think I should wait until the end of the exam. I can check on your way out for a much more accurate reading, I think. Are you certain you don’t want the sedative?”

The thought of losing any part of her senses, relaxing through this exam, seemed impossible. She couldn’t even drink a glass of wine without falling asleep, how was she supposed to drive home after this appointment if she was sedated?

“N…no,” she said shaking her head, “I’m… I’m fine.” She probably wasn’t, but she couldn’t let this doctor know that. She just silently swore to herself that she’d never come back here again, no matter what extra tests or treatments she might need.

“Ok dear,” he disappeared behind the curtain and she felt her heart jump again. “You’re not going to see much of me here, but I’ll be gentle and let you know when you might feel something. You let me know if you need a break or if something hurts too much, ok?”

Amy silently nodded. A moment passed and she looked up as she saw his head from behind the side of the curtain.

“Ok dear?” Dr. Kelly asked pointedly.

“Oh. Okay.” she replied and nodded again at the ceiling.

“Ok, I’m going to feel around your lower belly here…” she felt his firm fingers press down and into her lower abdomen. She couldn’t help but flinch as she thought about how he could easily see her pubic area but she could see none of him. The surgical light stared down at her menacingly. She silently prayed the doctor didn’t use it during a routine pelvic exam.

“Ok and I’m going to quick bend your legs up here and do a digital exam of your genital area…” she felt his hands on her feet and actually jumped. She pulled her knees up, but then he completely bewildered and surprised her as she felt her legs pried apart at the knees. She froze in place as he continued to try and press and lower her legs to the side but she was so confused at his touch…

“Knees out and to the side, feet together dear, stirrups will come next, but we’re not there quite yet…” Amy pressed her feet together and the doctor pressed her knees aside and down, splaying her legs out wide. Oh god. She felt so…humiliated.

“Some touching now…” she felt his fingers pry apart and separate her labia in one swift motion, fully exposing her genitals from clit to anus with one sweep of his hand. She covered her face at the feeling. He touched at her clit and she nearly jumped.

“Amy,” she heard the doctor say - sternly? “I need you to relax. The rest of the exam will go so much smoother if you do.”

Relax?! How could she relax?! She was naked from the waist down, legs splayed and her genitals splayed out wide by some old man she’d only just met moments earlier and couldn't see. She suddenly wished she was sexually active so at least this stranger gawking and prodding at her genitals wouldn’t feel so…weird.

“I am going to continue touching around your genitals here, you’ll feel me gently touching at your urethra, vagina and anus and everywhere around them… Deep breaths, Amy, you can do this, you’ve gone through this all before…”

Amy took a deep - deep - steadying breath and tried to dissociate from everything she was unable to see below the curtain as she felt the doctor’s fingers gently touch at, press into and palpitate around each of her intimate holes.

“Perfect and perfect, no lesions or sores, no rashes, no bumps, you have a beautiful vulva, Amy,” Dr. Kelly practically cooed out of sight as Amy could both hear and feel the menacing stirrups being maneuvered back into position for examination. “You can just relax on your back from here on out, dear. Let me help you get situated here…”

She felt a rough tug and pull on her right leg as it was pulled out from its bent position, lifted, and placed in the padded knee rest that felt - oh god - much too high. Dr. Kelly then did the same with her left leg - tug, pull, lift, and put into its rest. If Amy had felt humiliated and exposed before, this was something else entirely. The cool air of the room washed over her genitals and made her shift her hips back and forth uncomfortably. Actually, she was uncomfortable. There was a dull pull at her lower back, and before she knew it, the doctors hands were firmly gripping the sides of her hips and roughly tugging her towards the end of the exam table. She let out a surprised shriek as Dr. Kelly placed a firm hand at the underside of her buttocks and the other on her outer hip. He adjusted the stirrups to spread slightly wider and Amy felt his hands leave her. She’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed in her life.

“Ok, let’s quick get your Pap and these STI tests out of the way so we can get you back home and I can get to dinner,” the doctor said as she suddenly say his face over the top of the curtain. He reached up for the light and Amy felt a hot and deeply uncomfortable feeling from somewhere on the other side of that curtain.

Dr. Kelly reached up and pulled on the surgical light and angled it down in such a way that… It suddenly flashed on and light poured through the opaque curtain in front of her. She wasn’t blinded - rather the opposite, the light was warm and glowing - but it also came with the knowledge that this Dr. Kelly could see literally everything. He could probably look within her pores and count every single pubic hair with a light that bright. She flexed her thighs in a completely futile attempt to bring her legs together and she heard the doctor softly chuckle. She was ready to leave.

“Some cold pressure, dear…” her entire body clenched as the cold metal of the speculum touched her skin. “Oh…” she squeaked as the device penetrated inside of her. Oh fuck, that fucking hurt.

“Stop!” She squeaked. But he kept pushing it into her body. Amy felt a sharp pain and squeaked again. She heard the doctor’s noise of confusion from the other side of the curtain.

“Amy, have you ever heard of the term vaginismus?” Dr. Kelly asked, withdrawing the speculum from inside of her. She palpably relaxed as the device was removed, but immediately tensed up again as the metal was replaced by…fingers.

The doctor’s fingers pressed up inside of her, massaging the inner and outer walls of her vagina with his thumb and fingers. Amy’s body immediately seized. She literally didn’t know what to do, her body couldn’t figure out how to react. It felt… kind of incredible if she could detach her mind from the fact that she was spread open wide under the brightest light known to mankind getting fingered - massaged - manipulated by this new-to-her doctor.

“Ok dear, let’s give this another try…” she could hear the squeak of a rolling chair, “Cold pressure again…” She was more prepared for it this time, but as soon as the speculum hit its depth inside of her body, she tensed and clenched tight. She could feel the metal of the device trying to open within her, but her muscles wouldn’t - couldn’t - allow for that. She closed her eyes tight and cried out in pain as soon as she felt like she couldn’t take anymore.

“You need me to stop?” Dr. Kelly asked, surprised tone of voice.

“Stop stop please stop,” Amy pleaded.

“But it’s not even open enough for…” she let out a sigh of relief as she felt the device close and withdraw from her body a second time. Once again, the speculum was immediately replaced with the doctor’s fingers - inside and outside of her vagina - pushing, pressing, pulling, prodding, stretching, manipulating and stroking…stroking?!

Amy gasped as she felt the doctor’s fingers leave her body and listened as he presumably sat back down in his stool again. She didn’t understand how he wasn’t casting a shadow on the curtain in front of her - what was the curtain made of?!? Without any preamble or warning on the third attempt, the doctor swiftly inserted the speculum inside of her - helped along with a generous application of lubricant - and before she could even take a breath, the device was opened wide and locked into place within her. What the…why didn’t he do that the first time?!

She could feel air within her as she heard items being shuffled around out of sight, behind the curtain.

“Ok dear, you’re going to feel a bit of a sting and a burn here…” pain flooded through her pelvis as - what the fuck did he just do?!? - and she felt the sudden urge to empty her bladder. “Sterile urine sample, must be done, I apologize. The catheter burns, but I find it’s best done quickly and without preamble.” She groaned softly as she felt an uncomfortable tugging and a brief wet drip down her center.

“Pap next…” more shuffling that she couldn’t see, “…Little cramp.”

“Ungh,” she groaned again as he pressed much harder than she felt must be necessary into her cervix.

“A couple more STI tests while we’re in here…”

Another dull cramp and another, “Ow, fuck!” Amy cried out as she felt like something was scraped out from inside of her.

“Worst is over, dear,” Dr. Kelly intoned, “One more quick swab here…” she felt something brush against the bottom of her vagina and more shuffling was heard out of sight.

Everything went silent on the other side of the curtain suddenly. Amy froze. The speculum was still open wide inside of her, but she couldn’t feel the doctor’s hands anywhere near it. She looked frantically at the curtain, but she couldn’t see any sign of him peeking around the edges to check in on her. She heard a couple of soft clicks and then jumped as the speculum was moved from within her.

“Well Amy, everything looks great to me right now,” Dr. Kelly appeared, standing, at the side of the curtain. Shedding one pair of gloves and reaching for another somewhere out of sight. “Obviously we’ll need to send off the samples for the most accurate results, but I don’t see anything concerning with my visualization. I am concerned about your potential vaginismus though and with your approval, I’d like to try a couple of manipulations that may help to loosen you up a little bit down below. You don’t want to work your muscles too tight to the point where you won’t be able to have pleasurable sex again. You DO want to be sexually active, correct?”

She supposed that yes, she did want another sexual relationship. Eventually. But sex and the gynecologist were two completely different things and she had never suspected she had vaginismus in the past. Her previous OB/GYN had never said anything about it. She was also fairly confident her previous OB/GYN had used a significantly smaller speculum.

“Of course,” Amy just mumbled in reply to the doctor’s question.

“Wonderful, I’ll get back down here then…” he disappeared back behind the curtain, “We’ll do your bimanual here and get you on your way…”

She gasped as the doctor penetrated her with two fingers. Pushed roughly up and inside of her. She groaned as he pressed down on her belly and she could swear she could feel it as he felt around her ovaries.

“Pain?” She heard his concerned voice ask.

“N…No…” she groaned out more as he pressed into her uterus from two angles at once.

Suddenly, his fingers curled inside of her and pulled. Hard. She gasped and felt her entire vagina clench in response. Another curl and stroke within her and she could practically feel a palpable rush of heat and wet between her legs. She held her breath as she could feel him press in a third finger and roughly pushed up and inside of her once more. She closed her eyes tight as a rush flooded through her core. Oh GOD was she about to orgasm?!?

”Curious…” she heard a murmur from the other side of the curtain and without any additional warning or even a word, she felt a cold and wet finger at her anus. It easily pressed in and slid up inside and she felt her insides recoil in embarrassment. It wasn’t just a quick slip of the finger though, to her horror, he kept pressing into her, until she squeaked, then she felt her stomach turn as more fingers entered her vagina and began to move and manipulate her from within.

Agh! What the fuck, what the FUCK was going on?!? She wanted to shift away from his probing fingers, but she had no where to go! She was practically immobile where she lay already. She shifted uncomfortably back and forth against his touch, but it only made him press in deeper, further, stroking places that - oh god - felt good?! No! It couldn't feel good! Oh god, she felt like she was going to be sick.

The room spun above her as she felt the fingers leave her body. She took a couple of deep breaths as silence settled over the room. She closed her eyes and silently thanked something - anything - that she no longer had anything inside of her.

Then, shaking her from her exhausted anxiety, she heard the most curious noise that sounded like a belt. A belt?! A couple of sharp gasps and in the next moment, the doctor’s fingers were inside of her again. She immediately tensed around them, the extra unexpected penetration shocking her.

“Breathe, relax…” the doctor said in a soothing voice from opposite side of the curtain, “One final manipulation here…” His fingers circled around wide inside of her, coaxing her vaginal muscles into relaxing again.

“We’re done for today…” the doctor continued, not removing his fingers from her body which, in Amy’s opinion, meant they definitely were not done soon enough. “I’d recommend a follow up around this time next week for additional pelvic floor physical therapy. I actually have a wonderful colleague who specializes in vaginismus cases who I think would work wonders for you. Although I am certainly happy to treat you for this as well. We can have you with a beautifully functional pelvic floor in no time.”

Amy gasped as the doctor removed his fingers from her body. He turned off the light, pulled the stirrups together and helped her to lower her legs from the knee rests. Slowly, he pulled aside and folded the curtain back down, then offered his hands to her to pull her back to an upright, seated position.

He suddenly pulled a stethoscope from his pocket and pressed it against Amy's breast. She jumped and froze. She stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath as she felt her pulse thundering in her ears.

“We'll have to get a better heart rate reading next time, I'll prescribe you a sedative to take ahead of time on your next visit. I’ll have your results for you by Monday, any further follow-up with those, and we can treat the issues during your physical therapy sessions,” Dr. Kelly said succinctly. “Any questions for today?”

Amy shook her head, mute. She wanted to argue back, but she couldn’t even begin to wrap her mind around what had just happened here.

“Perfect,” Dr. Kelly reached out to shake her hand a second time. “I’ll get you scheduled for same time next week, and will talk to you on Monday with the results from your tests. It was such a pleasure to meet you, dear. I’ll see you next week.”

And without another word, he left the room.