A few days after my Grandfather Dr Daniel Richardson passed away at the ripe old age of Ninety my Grandmother Emmie asked my Aunt Mary, her best friend Mary, my mom, my sister and myself to come over to the house. It was just after his services so I stayed up at my parents, though my mom made Gianni stay with my aunt.

I arrived at the farm house around 11AM, my aunt who keep up the cottage despite living with my uncle Mark was there with my grandma’s friend Mary… Yes two Mary’s, I’ll call my Aunt Mary Auntie, and Mary my mom’s friend Mary. My mom and sister were right after me. My grandma and Mary were sitting on the small settee together and my Auntie across from them. My grandmother had a large old trunk in the living room.

“Well girls, I just wanted it to be us here, and maybe go through some of these old photo albums and memories with me… Geez some of these I haven’t opened since the 30’s.”

“OK Grammie, you ok?” My sister asked.

“Oh yes, Danny was old, I am old, not sure how much time I have left either… I’ll miss him. I am sure Mary misses Florence.”

“Oh I do, every day.. I am just happy I can still live in her cottage.”

“Yes you two were such good friends.” My sister said as everyone half chuckled.

“Well, how old are you now Elizabeth?” Mary asked.

“Nineteen..”

“Well OK, If you haven’t figured it out yet… we were a couple… a lesbian couple, yeah she was almost 15 years older than me, but we were in love for almost 42 years… and we umm consummated things when I was 19 so…”

“What really?”

“Gee Elizabeth everyone knew.” My auntie said with a smile.

“I, ummm didn’t… sorry ummm…”

“Oh it’s OK, though I always used to joke with Emmie and Danny that he was the only man to ever get my legs open… as a doctor.”

“Mary!” My grandma said poking her but laughing. “We only had one hard cider!”

“Hey, we are all adults… Oh look it’s my high school graduation picture, You saved it all these years Emmie?”

“Well yes of course we are like sisters.”

“Wow you were really pretty.” My mom said, taking the photo.

“I remember getting them and rushing over here with it to give to Emmie… You were only married to Danny for a few months.”

“Yes, hahaha I remember, we heard you rushing in and my Aunt saying we were upstairs and how quickly we threw some clothes on as you rushed up..”

“Oh was I interrupting?”

“In about three more minutes you would have…”

“Oh no wonder Danny didn’t want to get out of the bed… he was probably standing at attention…” She said as everyone snorted but my horrified looking aunt.

“Oh Mary.” my mom’s friend said, looking at her. “You do know your parents had sex… a lot.. A lot a lot… like rabbits…” She joked, making my aunt blush. “Hey you have a kid so you must have… It’s ok… same for Fiona over there…”

“Yeah but it’s not like… ummm it’s hard to think about with family.”

“It is.” My mom said, grabbing my sister's hand.

“Yeah…” I started to say, forming a thought when my mom interrupted me.

“I found Elizabeth’s birth control pills, then we had a fight, then I knew what an idiot I was not realizing she was a woman too… and I went from almost driving to Boston to kill you Meghan, to being really thankful she went to you.”

“Oh yeah mom, sorry but..”

“Yeah, I’d have treated her like a little girl, you at least knew she was a woman now… Still wish you were not having sex but…trust me if I met your dad after some taboos were lifted oh my…”

“Oh I never cared about taboos.” My aunt piped up.

“Oh we know.” my mom said.

Then my aunt laughing “Poor Willie when he found out.”

“Your first date though! And eight condoms!” My mom said with a smile.

“Well Mark knew what he was doing…” My aunt said a little embarrassed.

“It was my first date too.” My sister piped up shyly, shocking my mom a bit but making everyone else snicker.”

“Oh girls, it wasn’t even a date with Florence so don’t feel bad… She was giving me a spanking for reading naughty books and next thing I know I was naked.”

“Spanking?” My mother said curiously.

“Oh yes but nothing like when she was my teacher… ok a little bit like when she was my teacher… but…”

“Oh I get it, I went to catholic schools, those nuns can really give a beating… I always had to be sure I was a good girl.”

“Oh God….” I suddenly blurted out putting two and two together.

“What?” My mom asked

“Umm mom… I snuck up to your door once and it was locked, and I heard you saying over and over again ‘make me a good girl William.’ and I just figured out why…”

“Oh we all have our things.” My grandmother said “no shame, I had mine, Mary has hers, I am sure you all have yours.”

“Well at least I am not the only one here who likes a red bottom” Mary said to my mom.

“Oh no not at all.” My mom said with a smile.

Then things calmed down a lot, we went through my grandma’s wedding album with everyone saying how much I looked like her. Then some baby pictures of my dad, and some “very rare” photos of Mary and Florence embracing and kissing. We were laughing and having a good time when my auntie picked up a folded up piece of paper and a nude drawing of my grandma was on it.

“Mom?”

“Oh yes! Florence drew that for me, actually the same day William was born… I had her draw me not pregnant but she drew my breasts swollen like they were. It was a gift for Danny…”

“Florence?” I asked

“Oh she was a fantastic artist.” My grandmother said.

“I can see that. Wow!”

“Oh and I was her favorite subject, every sunday after church… the amount of bug bites I got modeling for her..” Mary said with a smile. “Wait..” she suddenly stopped. “Is that another one of her drawings?” then unfolding it “Of me? Nude? Emmie?”

“Yes, she gave me one of you… I asked… I never showed Danny…”

“But you saved it? Geez look how skinny I was, and it was before I cut my hair short, I let it down and it was wet from swimming… I sat up on that rock and she drew me there… That was a very special day… I let… never mind.”

“Let what?” My mom asked, curious now as we all admired the drawing of her.

“Oh my, not sure I should say.”

“Well you can tell us Mary.” My grandmother said.

“Oh I let her break my hymen with a… well a candle makes a great umm.. Toy… The shock when Danny saw me at my next check up! I didn’t tell you Emmie… but you were at the check up when he asked me about it… and I was just like “Florence and I got carried away one night.”

“Oh my…” I just mumbled to myself.

“You never desired a man?” My auntie asked.

“Oh yeah, I’d have been curious to try it, but also… I knew I was different… I mean I had a lot of girl crushes… I just didn’t think another woman could satisfy that desire… Until Florence oh my god… and she was so beautiful it wasn’t like skinny dipping and checking out the other girls…”

“I get it… I mean my first boyfriend was gay… he had sex with me but just to.. I guess try it out? I donno. Mark is way more into it....”

“And you’re into him.” I joked

“No he’s in me a lot.” My aunt joked back.

“OK what about you Emmie? What was your thing?” My mom asked.

“Oh I was pretty vanella.”

“Oh no you weren’t” Mary said with a smile. “I was the horny one but Emmie was the kinky one… Danny, first time he met her, did a rectal exam on her and it’s all she talked about for like two months… Oh woah is me that handsome young doctor put his finger in my virgin bumm… oh it was so horrible… Does he do that to you? What do you think? Would you mind if it happened to you? Do you think he’s handsome… my aunt is having him over for dinner again… I wish she’d stop. He’s so nice to me, always bringing me gifts… he is so handsome… Think I should kiss him? Next thing I know I’m at your wedding.”

“Well I was a virgin until my wedding night…”

“Yeah and not a moment after… and that night when you caught Danny spying on me and Florence…”

“Well you did borrow his speculum to play doctor…”

“A yup… and you know what? I told Florence to let him watch… and boy did you tell me all about it the next day… Eight months pregnant and kicking boots all night because we got him hot.”

“Well you got me pretty hot too, you and Florence were very pretty.”

“Thank you.” Mary said with a smile. “Oh and Emmie liked to go on Danny’s special calls…”

“I loved watching him work… Oh my yes… If it was a pretty patient I’d be right there… Much to Mary’s occasional disappointment. Though we both loved it when it was your turn, Mary.”

“Oh I know… and it always earned me a good spanking from Florence… and I loved it.”

“Umm rectal exam from grandpa?” I asked

“I was, well… constipated… and a bit shy…”

“Well that’s what brought Gianni into the ER when we first first met… Kelly really pushed us together.. And our first time intimate together I sort of recreated things.” I said, a little embarrassed.

“Butt Stuff? Really Meghan?” My mom said a bit shocked.

“He’s not gay, he just likes a strong woman… who knows where the prostate is…” I said as my aunt blew a sip of water out her nose.

“I wouldn’t say your father and I haven’t tried some, but NOT to him and NOT playing doctor.. And he knows what the clitorus is…”

“Oh my, Danny used to joke about that too.” My grandma said with a chuckle.

“Mom! You? Butt sex?” Elizabeth piped up, shocked.

“When I was especially naughty, Elizabeth…”

“Oh geez mom!”

“Have another Cider Elizabeth this might be interesting.” My mom’s Mary said laughing.

“Oh let’s not embarrass her too much.” My aunt said… “Though, I hope you’re satisfied…”

“Oh ummm yes… at first I thought sex was so gross… I mean it’s really NOT clean like a movie scene but like… we just go slow until we climax…”

“Oh how slow? Mark and I can go for hours sometimes…”

“Hours?” My sister and mother said in unison.

“Well YES I think our record is three… but just edge ourselves along… until… It’s that tantric sex thing I keep telling Fiona to try…I have a book if you want to borrow it.”

“No!” My mom and sister said in unison, while I chuckled.

“And I’m too old now.” My grandma said with a smile. “Anyways, once you had the best, why settle for less?” My grandma said tenderly, touching a photo from my grandpa's medical school days.

“Yes, Danny was handsome and so kind to me.” My mom said. “I never told you but William said he stuck up for me when a guy said that William was marrying a loose woman and only because she was pregnant…”

“Oh yes, I was there… It was Harry Jenson.. His daughter Janice, had a thing for William but really no one liked her… She was a spoiled brat who used to tell everyone how pretty she was. When he got into Harvard Medical school she saw him as a meal ticket.. Figured since she was hot shit in high school he’d want to pick her up… He’d be home on breaks and she’d be here buying milk every day… and when he wasn’t home on break she wasn’t. Tried starting rumors they were secretly dating.”

“Well he was secretly dating me.”

“Yes though I wish we knew about you Fiona. We had a feeling… he’d be gone for long drives alone… to see you… we knew he wasn’t dating Janice, everyone knew he wasn’t dating Janice.”

“She had fantastic breasts though!” Mary piped up… “My professional opinion only…”

“And all I had to offer were my B cups.” My mom joked, “But William says anything more than a handful is a waste.”

“Not everyone likes big boobs mom…Trust me…” Elizabeth snorted. “And some guys do like red hair.”

“Oh trust me they do.” My mom snapped back.

“Hey I’m the blonde here… I just don’t prefer gentlemen…” Mary said.

“Hey and what about us brunettes?” I piped up.

“Oh you’re fine! Just you make up for it with your boobies.” My sister joked.

“And I am peppered now with a little gray.” My auntie said.

“Hey I don’t mean to pry… But how much older is Mark than you?”

“Ten years, same as the difference between your grandma and grandpa. He’s a few years older than William, who’s like seven years older than me…”

“Is it weird that I am older than Gianni?”

“By how much?”

“Exactly a year…”

“You’re the same age… And Adam is how much older than you Elizabeth?” My aunt asked.

“Two months…He was a virgin too…”

“So was your dad…” My mom said looking unsure where my sister was going.

“Mom, was sex gross for you at first?”

“It was awkward… but it was my idea the first time we…”

“Oh really? Must be a redhead thing…” My sister said… “I’m just glad I wasn’t pregnant…”

“I am too… and thank you Meghan for helping your sister out.”

“When did you figure out you were mom?”

“Oh like umm… took a while… I didn’t think you could get pregnant the first time… well you can…But I was in denial.”

“Oh… I thought I was pregnant the moment he finished. I told him to pull out but as soon as I said that, he said too late… Then he had to listen to me whimper and cry for an hour while i kept on apologizing for ruining his first time.”

“And how did he react?”

“He kept saying it’s OK.. keep stroking hair… just held me.”

“Well Meghan, that was loving of him.”

“From first kiss to first sex in 20 minutes…”

“Hey the first guy I had sex with went from predator to priest so don’t feel bad.” I said as my sister suddenly curled up into herself.

“And hey my first boyfriend liked men more than my amazingly bendable body… I honestly thought I was going to cure him with my pussy.” My aunt said.

“The language Mary!” My grandma snorted.

“Hey when he used the proper words and he wasn’t really interested I knew I had trouble… BUT thought I cured him for like a few months…I mean I am pretty good at what I do…”

“So like your first time wasn’t a total nightmare auntie?” My sister asked.

“Oh no… I was pretty ready and knew what I wanted… I’ll be the exception here.”

“That’s the most Mary Richardson statement I have ever heard.” My mom said “I still remind William he just grunted like a pig and I honestly had no idea in what way this was supposed to feel good.”

“Oh, I was ready for Danny… Very ready… it hurt a little but I also… well liked it… “

“Did you even put your clothes back on during your honeymoon Emmie?” Mary asked with a smile.

“Only when we went out to dinner… and then might have had a quickie if he liked the dress I had on… But I couldn’t keep my hands off him either.” My grandmother joked, making claw marks in the air.

“Oh I am a scratcher too..” My mom said laughing…

“Oh that explains it! William was working on the farm shirtless after spending the weekend at his “friend’s” house and I saw a bunch of marks on his back he couldn’t explain… Then we met you the next weekend…”

“Oh Emmie… yeah that’s the weekend I figured out I was a scratcher… and Mary yeah the proper words don’t work in bed… William asked if we could have intercourse, then coitus… and then I was like “Let’s use a more naughty word, I am not a patient.”

“Oh and what word was that Fiona?” My aunt said curiously

“Oh I can’t say it here…”

“You know how many condoms I used on a first date… and love embarrassing me with that number…”

“Well… ummm… I said..” then under her breath “The f word…”

“You said fuck?” My auntie said in shock “YOU?”

“Mom! YOU!” Elizabeth said, just as shocked.

“Well yeah what else would you call it in the moment?”

“Mom! You!? Churchy pants you?” My sister said again as everyone was chuckling.

“Well… Ummm… Yes… I mean your dad was sooo hot, especially back then…”

“My angelic mother, who tells us she almost became a nun, likes spankings and talking dirty?” My sister said again.

“Oh it’s OK… do you have any idea how quiet and shy I used to be?” My mom’s friend Mary said. “The only person I’d ever really talked to was Emmie, then a little later Danny, then Florence… then I got out of my shell a bit… But really until I was like 22 I was the girl who NEVER talked.”

“Unless you had cider, or a fever…” My grandma said, looking at her.

“Two drink Mary… That’s how we got Emmie to give me an enema.. Well a fever not a drink.”

“Mary! I thought you might die! And Danny didn’t want to embarrass you by doing it himself… so he had me do it…”

“Yeah and after that?”

“OK we did it to each other for fun…”

“I hate Enemas” both my mom and aunt said in unison.

“Well… My generation it’s what friends did if they didn’t have a mom or sister to help them…” My grandmother said nonchalantly

“And share the hot tub behind the barn… or in a guest house… Remember that?”

“Yes, I do Mary… and you know what? I never said anything but I caught you playing with Danny’s doctor bag late that night.”

“Oh, well glad you didn’t say anything then… I wonder what happened to Rebecca…”

“Who’s Rebecca?”

“One of the girls Danny examined in the gym that day… One of the ones who got turned on like me at an exam… We accidentally met the next day… Spent the day together while you and Danny did that marital class… I totally had an instant girl crush on her, I just didn’t really understand those feelings back then…”

“Well now…” My grandmother said looking around. “We are all certainly well versed in what makes us all tick…”

“Yeah and we were all young once, like Meghan and Elizabeth, so I hope you two are not totally shocked.” Mary said calmly

“No.. I am not, at least.” I said.

“I am a little bit… MOM! Dirty words! Spankings! Butt sex!”

“Only when I was extra naughty…” My mom said, turning her unique tomato red tone.

“It’s OK mom.. But I just want another drink now…”