As she re-entered Exam Room 5, she felt like she might just pick up her things and leave instead. She didn’t need this IUD! She could get by for the rest of her fertile years with condoms or The Pill… right?! Except, all her friends swore that it was the greatest thing ever and it stopped their periods and… ugh. No, she definitely wanted the “get it and forget about it” method that all those girl friends were so enthusiastic about. She wished she’d brought one of them along for moral support, but every single one of them had looked uncomfortable when she’d mentioned the appointment at brunch last weekend. She certainly felt uncomfortable now as she stared at the exam table with its stirrups extended wide and a pale pink paper drape neatly folded and sitting on top.

She slowly peeled herself out of her pants and underwear, folding them neatly on the plastic chair she’d been sitting on minutes before. She carefully sat up at the edge of the exam table - ugh, she hated the sound and feeling of the sanitary paper underneath her - and unfolded the useless paper drape around her waist. She sat, her hands twisting nervously in her lap, as she waited for the doctor.

At least five, interminable, minutes passed before a loud knock on the door startled her from her anxious wait. She squeaked to come in and Daniel and Dr. Jacobs - wait, Dr. Jacobs was a man?!? - came walking into the room.

“Hello Michelle,” the doctor held out his hand for her to shake, as Daniel busied himself at the tray on the counter. “I do apologize for the lack of staff today, nasty flu going around, are you ok with Daniel joining us for your IUD procedure today? I can call in the receptionist if you insist on another woman, but she's a bit squeamish being in the room for anything other than the prenatal ultrasounds.”

Michelle shrugged and assented her consent. Daniel clipped papers to a clipboard and handed it unceremoniously into her hands.

“These forms just indicate your consent to the procedure Dr. Jacobs will be performing today. If you have any questions, let us know…”

Michelle scanned the paperwork quick. The language was alarming as her gaze immediately focused on all the words and phrases of things that could possibly go wrong, but she signed each signature line anyway as Daniel began to unwrap packaging and grab this and that from the cupboards and drawers where he stood.

“Daniel mentioned that you are not on your period currently?” The doctor asked as he came to stand at the foot of the exam table.

“Any minute now…” Michelle mumbled.

The doctor smiled, not unkindly and said, “Ok, well, lets have you lie back and we’ll take a quick peek inside before we begin.”

Before we begin?! She couldn’t imagine taking a “quick peek inside” was exactly a prelude. Maybe it was.

Reluctantly, Michelle lay back on the exam table and allowed the doctor to assist in guiding each of her feet into the stirrups. She pressed her knees together tightly as he adjusted the light at the end of the table and sat down on a rolling stool between her legs. She fisted her hands tightly on top of her stomach and stared at the ceiling as she felt the doctor gently nudge at her legs to indicate she spread them open for him.

Without warning, there was a loud rustle from underneath her as a noisy drawer was opened and she heard a metal clang from within.

“Ok, Michelle,” she heard from between her legs, “a bit of pressure here…” she made a small noise in the back of her throat as she felt the metal of the speculum slide inside of her, “And a bit more as I open it up here… Deep breath, you’re doing great…”

She let her legs fall open just a little bit wider, involuntarily, to accommodate for the intrusion and stretch and silently counted in her head as silence fell over the room.

“Daniel, I’ll take that anesthetic…” she heard the doctor indicate as she forced herself to breathe where she lay, “Michelle, I’m going to inject an anesthetic to your cervix here to hopefully help you through the insertion process here. You might feel a bit of a sting or cramp here…” A burning sensation immediately bloomed from deep within her and she reflexively moved to close her legs. She simultaneously felt a harsh pinch from the speculum within her and a gentle nudge of the doctor’s hand on her inner thigh, encouraging her legs apart again.

“Good girl,” the doctor murmured as she felt the speculum close and withdraw from within her. “We’ll give that just a minute or two here to take effect and get started, ok?”

Michelle swallowed and nodded, closing her legs tightly again but remaining lying down on her back. She didn’t dare sit up. She already felt dizzy.

“Any other questions?” Daniel asked as he came to stand beside her.

“N…no,” she replied as she shook her head back and forth.

For the next couple minutes, Dr. Jacobs and Daniel seemed to completely ignore her. They traded clinical words back and forth that Michelle didn't recognize. Was this and that ready? Was something or other prepped? And then the conversation turned completely casual to their respective weekend plans. Dr. Jacobs was looking forward to golfing, Daniel was planning a trip to the local orchard with his family. The conversation did little to set Michelle at ease, but she did seem to momentarily forget she was lying completely naked from the waist down in front of these two strange men.

Finally, the doctor addressed her directly, “Ready, Michelle?”

He sat back down on the stool between her legs and wheeled himself between. He noisily reopened the drawer under her and she heard another telltale clang of metal.

“I’m going to use a slightly larger speculum for the insertion process, ok, Michelle?” She felt his fingers parting her labia and she took a shuddering breath as she anticipated how uncomfortable an even larger instrument might feel.

“Deep breath, one, two…” she felt the metal slide inside and the uncomfortable stretch as it was pushed in deep, “Opening now, a bit of pressure…”

She made a noise of discomfort and tried to shift her hips, but it was useless. Any movement only made the discomfort turn to pain. She lay frozen as she felt the speculum open wide inside of her, the cool air of the room washing over the exterior AND interior of her genitals.

“Swab please,” the doctor indicated to nurse Daniel. She watched Daniel move in her peripheral vision and a dull press from somewhere within her.

“Doing ok, Michelle?” The doctor asked, “I need to open this just another notch…” She made another noise of discomfort as she felt her vagina stretch open slightly further.

”Tenaculum, please,” the doctor indicated and Michelle watched as Daniel picked up and handed over… wait, what the fuck was that?!?

”Ok Michelle,” she swore the doctor’s voice was getting softer and kinder, “you’re probably going to feel a bit of a cramp here…”

“Ungh,” Michelle choked out as she felt a hot cramp seize in her pelvis.

“All ok up there?” The doctor asked casually, Michelle couldn’t imagine he was actually asking or concerned about the answer. “Sound, Daniel…”

Michelle met the nurse’s concerned eyes as he handed over some sort of thin metal stick to the doctor.

“Ok, Michelle,” the doctor said in an incredibly calm and soothing voice, “I’m going to need you to take a deep breath here. On my count of three, I need you to push it all out. Ok? Ready?” Her heart rate immediately spiked as she felt the speculum shift slightly within her. “Deep breath… one… two… three… push it out!”

As Michelle exhaled the deep breath she had inhaled, she felt an incredible pain pierce her belly and bloom through her entire pelvis, up her belly, chest, all the way to her neck. She squeaked and groaned as the hot, blooming pain filled her entirely.

“Stay still, stay still… one more moment… you’re doing great…” the doctor’s voice was just noise in her ears. She wanted to scoot her entire body up and away from whatever the intrusion was, but felt helplessly frozen in place by whatever was piercing her from the inside, the speculum, her spread legs…

”Ungh, please,” she moaned as her fingers twisted helplessly in the useless paper drape covering her waist.

“You’re doing so great, Michelle,” the doctor cooed as she felt - something - leave her body and the painful fire within her subsided slightly. Ugh, she wanted to close her legs so desperately. Was she done?!

“IUD please,” the doctor indicated. Ugh! That WASN’T the IUD?! What the hell had just happened?!?

“Almost done,” Daniel said warmly, smiling down at her where she lay, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

“Ok Michelle,” the doctor said softly as she felt his fingers touch her once more, “almost done… We’re going to do that again. Deep breath, count of three, push it out.”

Michelle wanted to hyperventilate, but sucked in a deep breath as instructed.

“One… two… three… push it out!”

She exhaled in a rush as she felt that impossibly hot, blooming pain spread through her once again. She whimpered loudly and swore she could feel something popping from inside of her. Almost instantly, the hot pain was gone, a dull throbbing left behind in its wake.

“Beautiful,” the doctor murmured, “I’ll just trim the strings quick… Daniel…” the nurse handed over something in her peripheral vision again, she was practically swimming in dizziness. “Perfect, and removing the speculum now…”

She exhaled a palpable sigh of relief as she felt the invasive instrument leave her body.

“Just a quick manual exam here to make sure it feels ok…”

Wait, what?!? She grunted as the doctor pressed his fingers up and inside of her. Her belly cramped again as he pressed into and palpitated around her cervix and uterus from the inside and out. Ugh. She was never, ever doing this again for as long as she lived.

“Perfect,” the doctor withdrew his fingers from within her and peeled the gloves off from his hands and threw them in the waste bin behind him. “You did excellent today, Michelle. You’ll probably have some bleeding and cramping for the next couple of days. If anything shifts or doesn’t feel right, give us a call and we’ll get you right back in to check on things, ok? Any questions?”

Michelle mutely shook her head. She didn’t dare sit up yet.

“Take all the time you need there. You need anything? Some crackers? Juice?”

She shook her head again, a tear running down the side of her cheek. The doctor stood up and patted her on the knee. She barely even realized she was still laying with her legs spread wide in the stirrups.

“You can leave whenever you’re feeling ready, but take all the time you need here, ok? Daniel will be back to check on you in another five or ten minutes if the room is still occupied. Sure you don’t have any questions?”

“No,” Michelle whispered as she wiped away the tear tickling by her ear.

“You did great today,” the doctor nodded and smiled at her again. “Everything looks great. You can pick up all the extra information about the IUD, including the replacement date, from the receptionist on your way out.”

Michelle doubted she’d ever replace the thing. She never wanted to go through that again.