This is fiction, a fantasy.

Several years ago, I realized that I needed therapy, a purification, a fresh start. I had been doing yoga and related disciplines for a few years, but it was not working for me any more.

After several months of research, I chose a therapy spa in northern Thailand, whose main focus was a 'system cleanse' at both the physical and emotional levels. This was done with individually selected soaps.

Enrolment involved some legal stuff: I had to sign a detailed consent form, allowing treatments to be decided by the staff - I was not going to be allowed to pick my favourite ones!

Eventually, I embarked. The journey was long, but you are not here to read about that, so I will skip straight to the therapy.

The center was set in a wooded area, with scented blossoms in abundance. After some jasmine tea, I had a long debriefing with the owner, a middle-aged attractive Thai woman called Arpa. We established what I thought I needed, and that I had not been sent here for soap/potty-mouth retraining or similar behaviour modification. However, I was told, sometimes resistance to therapy can arise, and it might need to be overcome forcefully.

Day one was calm, involving gentle yoga with Arpa's daughter, continual glasses of tea, and a brief explanation of the therapy that had been chosen for me. It was to be the 'trinity' process using 3 soaps, for internal and external purification. I was given a bar of soap in a bowl and was told to top it up with hot water regularly so that the soap became very soft. As a nightcap, I was given a laxative tea.

Day 2 was the big day. After a major toilet visit and more tea, I was taken to the therapy area, which was a beautiful lawn, and in full view of other clients. There was an assortment of tubes, water containers, and chairs.

Firstly, I was required to be completely naked. I had to lie on a bench and was scrubbed vigorously with soap and water, using a stiff brush. This was painful at times, but bearable.

Then the first 'hole' of the trinity. A sliver of soap was slid inside my penis. It stung but was bearable. Next, I was put into a chastity device - needed, they said because the lasting memory of my session was to be one of purification, not orgasm.

Then came my mouth, the second part of the trinity. Arpa told me to open wide, and scraped the bar of soap carefully around my teeth, to ensure complete coverage. Finally, the bar was pushed well inside. For some strange reason, I began to attempt an erection, and could not imagine why it got triggered. Fortunately, the chastity device did its job.

After 5 minutes, the soap had disintegrated, to my relief, but I knew that mentally I was completely rejecting it. I guess that Arpa saw my rejection too, and a bowl containing 3 more bars of soap in hot water was produced. I had to use up all 3 bars, scraping over my teeth, until all the bars were used up. If I refused, the session would end, and I could fly home. Partway through the bars, I realized that I could cheat by scraping gently, opening my mouth more, but this was observed, and a 4th bar was produced. I had to scrape hard, to get large amounts of soap loose, behind my teeth.

I have no idea how long this took - I lost track of time, and was shaking at the end. Soap was all I could taste, smell, and imagine.

Next came the 3rd hole, to be filled by an enema. Temporarily, the mouth-soap was removed, and I had to lie on my back and turn occasionally onto my side, to assist the enema. I was given 2L of a very soapy enema, which took some time to go in - there was no option given to stop. I knew that if I tried to cheat, more water would arrive. Finally, a thick soap-stick was inserted, and a carved soap butt-plug to hold it all in.

The final phase was a meditation, in a beautiful forest area. The only drawback was that it was 100m away. The mouth-soap was replaced, and I was assisted in my slow walk, in full view, with my swollen belly, chastity device, and mouth-soap protruding. The three of us sat cross-legged, and Arpa guided us through a meditation on strength of character, chastity, and purification. It was powerful and affecting, but at times I drifted back into my body, and the pressure to release the enema was strong.

After the meditation, I had to walk slowly back to the squatting toilet and had to remove the chastity device and , in full view. After my release, I was put in chastity again and could sleep - I was exhausted, yet feeling completely stress-free and fulfilled.

On the final day, I had a long chat with Arpa. I wanted to visit again, but could only afford it once a year. To assist in the intervening months, she gave me an illustrated book and a box of soap. If I was to return though, she said, it must be to the advanced training, and the pre-requisite was orgasm discipline, explained in the book. Basically, I need not wear a chastity device and could edge, with the restriction that I was only allowed to orgasm after a soap session. The repeated practice would ensure that eventually, the only way that I could orgasm would be after soaping.

I was in no doubt that I would follow the process.