Liz rang the bell. Carolyn took a little time to answer, and apologized: her husband Tom was sick, she had to help him out and everything took a while and she was late. “I hope he’s not too ill”, said the young woman. “Oh no, I hope it will be over by tomorrow. He’s napping now. Let’s have a cup of coffee, and then we’ll deal with the fruit.”

Liz and Charlie, newlyweds, had recently moved into the house next to Carolyn and Tom’s. Liz had immediately befriended Carolyn: the older woman helped the younger couple settling in. That Saturday afternoon, Liz was visiting Carolyn because the older couple’s orchard had a bigger fruit harvest than what they could deal with, and they had to preserve them. Liz would help out and would keep a share of the proceedings.

The preserves were on their way when Liz took a bathroom break. As she sat on the toilet, she realized there was a red bag with a hose hanging from the shower curtain rod. “A douche bag”, she thought, “Carolyn is old-fashioned!”. Liz did not douche, despite the admonitions of her college friend Sally, who had proudly shown her her “combination syringe”. As she got up and walked towards the sink, she wondered “Why does Carolyn need to douche? She’s most likely menopausal anyway…” and, out of curiosity, had a look at the bag. The nozzle was different from the one that Sally had shown her… Sally’s was longer and had “baseball bat” shape, while this one was shorter, thinner and just had a round hole at the tip. Liz gasped. When Sally had unpacked her syringe, another nozzle just like this one had fallen out of the box and she had explained this was “for the other hole”, but that she did not use it. Indeed, the box mentioned both enemas and douches… Did Carolyn…

Her thought were interrupted by another sight. Next to the sink, on the counter, there was a tray, on which there was an open jar of Vaseline and a thermometer case, which said “rectal”. Of course. Carolyn took neither a douche nor an enema, it was her sick husband who took the enema… and had his temperature measured in his bottom. But then… when Carolyn said that she had had to help Tom out, did she mean she had given him his enema? Maybe took his temperature in his bottom? Oooh, this was so indiscreet…

When seeing Carolyn again, Liz threw her caution to the wind and asked casually if Tom had had difficulty taking his treatment. Carolyn was embarrassed.

“Oh dear… sorry, I completely forgot to put away the equipment after leaving it to dry… I had so many things to do! And, well, no Tom took it well. At the beginning of our marriage, the first times, he used to fuss, but he quickly understood that it was much better to undergo an unpleasant moment than to remain sick.”

Carolyn smiled. Liz knew that Carolyn was a “take charge” kind of woman, and this was no exception. Poor Tom probably did not have much of a choice once Carolyn had determined that he needed water up his bum… or that he needed his fever checked.

“Now let’s go back to our apricots, shall we?”

Liz nodded.