It's the Tuesday after the "Great Mumps Incident" and Dr. Sarah Green is following up on the endless paper work that it has generated. She sees that John Williams mumps test came back negative and decides to give his doctor a call to make sure that he followed up.

After a few minutes she gets through to Dr. Mills, whom she knows well. "Beth, I hope your are doing well. I have some tests results that I will be forwarding to you but wanted to follow up directly."

"Good to hear from you Sarah. Are you graduating another patient to me?"

"More like returning a bad penny. Did you hear about the great mumps incident?"

"Ha! Is that what your are calling it? Yes, I heard from one my nurses. I don't ask where she gets her info, but it sounded like a tough Saturday for your team. But what's that got to do with me?"

"It was a long day. We treated a lot of scared kids without setting off any panics. But we also checked out two of the teachers who where chaperoning the trip. Tested them and gave them gamma globulin. One of them is an old patient of mine who is now yours. John Williams."

"He was on the border, symptom wise, but I think that he was actually coming down with something else. I gave him an extra dose and told him to follow up with you. His test came back negative, so if he is still sick, it's something else."

"Mmmm I haven't seen him in a while. Let me pull his file and check the schedule."

A couple minutes later, she comes back to the phone, "Well Sarah, he's not on the schedule and he's overdue for an exam. It's been two years since I saw him last."

"Oh God save me from the invulnerability of young men Beth. I am sure that he was coming down with something. I'm half tempted to show up for a surprise house call to ring some sense into him."

"Well if your do, tell him that you have my blessing and that he needs to schedule an exam." Dr. Miller said laughing. "Send over the lab results and your exam notes and I will update his records here. And thanks for what your group did Saturday. I think you might have headed off a lot of mumps cases."

Next Sarah makes a call over to the high school to reach Lynn Stien. Lynn is a science teacher at the school but is doing double duty covering for the assistant principal who is out until Christmas due to car accident that broke his leg badly. Lynn and the school nurse have been acting to coordinate amongst teachers, parents, and the doctors. She is also a friend of Dr. Green, having bonded as partners in the local Bridge league. (Sarah's husband was hopeless at bridge. A card shark at spades, but hopeless at bridge.)

"Hey Lynn. I have all the test results back. Including Jack and Tina, we have 10 students with confirmed cases of mumps and 1 questionable one. They will likely all be out for a couple of weeks. The others should be able to go back to class Monday if they don't develop any symptoms. And both John and Jane tested negative. They should be OK to go back to work Monday too. I will send over the lists later today."

"That's great. I think that we really dodged a bullet there. I was having visions of half the school out with mumps."

"Jane called in and she is feeling well."

"And John?"

"Arrg! I swear that if I wasn't engaged to that man, I would murder him. He has been down with a sore throat and wheezing since the weekend but he still hasn't bothered to go to his doctor. Says it's just a cold. I'm fine. Then I have to take care of him like he's dying. Arrg!"

"Damn it! He said that he would follow up. How bad is he? Does he have a fever?"

"What? You think the man owns a thermometer or so much as an aspirin? I don't know. He feels warm and you can never be sure how sick _MEN_ are. A little cold and they are dying. Or double pneumonia and they just need to walk it off."

"Don't I know it. I have to threaten my husband with a special house call to get him in to his doc when he's sick."

"Oooh! Could you do that? Please? You could stop over to his apartment with me to night and threaten him with a house call if he doesn't make an appointment. Or just check him out. Please!"

"Maybe. Dr. Mills said that I should threaten him with a surprise house call. I can't force him, but maybe the two of us can talk some sense into him. Tell you what. I have a couple of house calls to make, but then I'll swing by your apartment around 6 and then we can double team him. I'll even bring my house call kit."

Around 6:30 that evening.

John is sitting in his apartment feeling lousy. His throat hurts. He aches. He keeps getting the chills. There is a knock at the door and he hears his fiance call out. "John honey, I'm coming in to see how you are doing and I have brought my bridge partner with me."

The fever is making John's thinking a little slow. He is not sure why she would ... Just as his brain reminds him of who her bridge partner is, he sees Lynn come into the living room followed by Dr. Green. Both of the women are looking at him like his mother used to when he had done something particularly stupid or dangerous. The “I'm not mad, I'm disappointed ... no I am mad” look.

"Johnathan Mark Williams you told me that you were feeling better! This does not look better."

John gives a weak smile and "The mumps test came back negative."

Sarah pipes in, "Yes it did. But you were still supposed to follow up with your doctor. You said that you would. You didn't. She checked her schedule and you are not on it. Gave me her blessing to do what was necessary. She also asked me to remind you that you are overdue for your physical."

Lynn's eyes narrow. She puts a hand on John's head, then rubs her temples for a moment. "John. You're burning up and covered in sweat. I was just going to have Sarah jokingly threaten you with a house call to get you to go to the doctor, but with the state you are in, I am putting my foot down as your future wife."

"You have two choices. One, you can let Dr. Sarah examine and treat you. Or two, I will drag you by the ear down to my car and drive you to the nearest emergency room where they can treat you. Which will it be, one or two?"

John is about to make another excuse, but the looks on their faces stops him. John knows that Lynn is serious. And probably right. He really should have gotten an appointment by now. Considering his options, he swallows his pride and says, "Mmmm Dr. Sarah would you mind checking me out?"

Dr. Green had just intended to back up Lynn in giving John the kick in the pants he so clearly needed. But John had clearly let his illness go too far. He would be much better getting treated today rather than in the day or two it would take to get into Dr. Mills. "OK John, but I expect you to accept treatment and take your medicine. You are too old to chase around your bedroom needle in my hand. Let's adjourn to the bedroom where we will have some more room."

With John sitting in bed, Dr. Sarah checked his pulse. It was faster and thready than she liked. Pulling out a blood pressure cuff, his blood pressure was on the low side. "John, is your pee dark?" Thinking for a second, "I think so." Shaking her head. "Your not drinking enough water. That and the sweating has made your dehydrated. Lynn could you grab John's thermometer for me? Where do you keep it John?"

"Ummm, I don't have one. I did. I did, but I broke it back in August. Last year. I meant to replace it, but I kept ...." John wound down realizing that he was digging his own grave.

Shaking her head, Sarah reaches into her bag. "Well John, I guess we will have to use mine. You know what kind of thermometer I keep in here. Shed your bottoms and assume the position."

Turning bright red, embarrassed to be naked in front of his baby doctor twice in one week, John slips out of his pajama bottoms and quickly turns over. Lynn snatches up them up and tosses them towards the hamper.

Having lubricated the thermometer, Dr. Sarah sits on the edge of the bed. She pries his buttocks apart with a thumb and two fingers and quickly slips the thermometer in a full two inches. John flinches at the greasy intruder. Dr. Sarah applying the "treat them like the age they are acting" rule she uses for patients, puts her hand across his bottom and presses down, holding the thermometer and John in place.

After checking her watch, she tells Lynn, "If you decide to check his temperature this way, be sure to keep a hand on his bottom like this to keep him still."

For five minutes, she quizzes John on his symptoms and Lynn asks him how he had "known my fever is almost gone" with out a thermometer. John feels that he as at a disadvantage in this conversation.

Dr. Sarah pulls the thermometer from John's rectum giving him a quick wipe with a tissue, like she did for him at house calls when he was much younger. "Go a head and sit up." She says as she cleans and reads the thermometer. "104.0. I don't suppose that you have any Tylenol or aspirin in the house either? " she asks, knowing the answer.

"I don't think so. Can I get my bottoms back?" John says sheepishly.

"No. They are soaked in sweat and went straight to the laundry hamper. I'll towel off your sweat and get you fresh pajamas after Dr. Green is done. We've both seen you naked before." Lynn says.

Deciding to address the fever later, Dr. Sarah pulls out her otoscope and checks John's ears, nose, and throat. "That is definitely strep. I don't need a test to tell me that. Take off your top, so I can listen to your heart and lungs." she says getting out her stethoscope.

As Lynn takes his top, John sits there naked as Sarah listens to his heart and lungs, telling him to "Breath in, breath out" and "pant like a puppy". Finally she tells him to lie back as she dawns gloves.

Taking her time, she checks the lymph nodes in his throat and in his armpits. Lynn watches as Sarah then feels the nodes in his groin. Finally, because of his recent mumps exposure, she checks his testicles. Spreading his legs, she asks Lynn to “Hold his penis out of the way please while I examine him.”

With a little smirk for the deserved discomfort that John is feeling, Lynn reaches down and holds John’s penis out of the way. It is fever warm and only John’s current state keeps it from expanding as Dr. Sarah feels each testicle carefully.

Discarding her gloves, she looks at John and says. "Well you are dehydrated and you have a nasty case of strep throat, but you have been lucky enough to avoid it turning into pneumonia so far." "Not for lack of trying", she adds to herself.

"I'm going to give you a shot of penicillin and I'll look to see if I have any thing in my bag for the fever for tonight. Lynn, make sure that he drinks at least two quarts of water a day until this is done. And I will give you a list of supplies that you can pick up from the pharmacy for him when it opens tomorrow."

John watches as Sarah looks around in her house call bag. He doesn't like the size of the syringe and needle that she pulls out or the site of the milky white penicillin vial that had caused so many tears of his childhood.

"Well this will do. I have some 500 mg Tylenol suppositories. I can give you two to make up the dose right. John, roll over on your left side with your legs pulled up a bit.. I'll insert the suppositories first and then give you your shot."

John rolls over and pulls up his knees awaiting his fate. He's never had a suppository before, and is not sure what to expect.

Lynn watches as Dr. Sarah puts on a glove and squirts the lube from a couple of packets on the suppositories and her finger. Sarah then lifts John's buttock and rub some lubricant on his anus. Next she places the first suppository on his anus and pushes it in.

John sucks in a breath as he feels the doctor's finger push up into and then quickly withdraw.

Dr. Sarah quickly grabs the second suppository and inserts it, pushing her finger all the way in. Lynn watches the scene as Sarah keeps her finger in place for about 20 seconds before slowly withdrawing it. Holding his buttocks together she tells John, "Over on your belly now."

"Lynn, can you hold his cheeks together for a moment while I prepare the shot?"

Lynn nods and puts a hand across John's bottom, holding his cheeks together to help him retain the suppositories.

A minute later, Dr. Sarah says, "You can release him now." as she reaches down to clean off a spot on his right buttock. She bunches up a section of cheek and says, "Try to relax and don't move. Big stick in 1, 2, 3."

John gives a gasp as he feels the large bore needle slam in to his glute.

"Needle's in. This next bit hurts" John hears as the thick milky like liquid is pushed into his glute. The fire spreads further and hotter as the syringe is emptied over 40 painful seconds. And just as John is shedding a tear or two, the needle is withdrawn and a band-aid applied, he feels Sarah firmly rub his bottom to spread out the medicine.

"Your all done John. Lynn can you help get him dressed and put to bed while I pack away my stuff?"

"Yes, thank you Sarah." "John let me towel off your back side before you turn over." Lynn says as she wipes the accumulated sweat from John before turning him over to do the front. As she packs and makes up a list for Lynn, she notices that Lynn spends extra time drying certain areas.

Lynn quickly gets John into fresh pajamas and gets him settled in to bed, with the admonishment to rest. "I'll be staying to take care of you tonight."

Allowing his fiance to put him to bed, John says. "Thanks Dr. Sarah for the one last house call. You and Lynn were right. I was being an idiot and should have listened to her and you. And I promise I will schedule my physical."

"Well trust an old married lady, listening to your spouse is the first step to a happy marriage so listen to Lynn. Well, I will have to go now. Rest. Drink lots of water. Do what Lynn tells you to."

As Lynn shows Sarah out, Sarah gives her the list. "Here is a basic list of medical supplies that John should have on hand. Pick it up for him, would you. Use his money, mind you."

Looking at the list, "Oh I will. Oh how much do we owe you? Charge him the full amount. It will be a good lesson for him."

After taking the money, Dr. Sarah asks. "Are you comfortable with giving John a suppository? You won't be able to get to the pharmacy before tomorrow morning and he really should have a dose later tonight and one in the morning before you go back to work."

"Oh yes. My mom was a nurse. She thought that me and my bothers and sister needed basic medical skills just like we need to be able to change a tire, do laundry, cook, etc.. She made sure that each of us could take a temperature both ways, give suppositories, clean a wound, all kinds of things. I gave my all my sibs fever suppositories at one time or another. Had to give them to myself too." Blushing, "And mom had Brad give them to me a couple of times too. Mom was very equal opportunity when it came to teaching us life skills. We all had to learn to do it all."

"Well good for her. Here are a couple 500mg Tylenol suppositories. Give John one tonight around 11 and then one more before you leave in the morning. Well good night and good luck."

Tomorrow Lynn is at the pharmacy filling the list Sarah gave her and adding a few other things including some more fever suppositories. Looking at the list, she sees that she still needs a thermometer. Going over to the display she grabs an oral thermometer and adds it her basket. Then after a moments hesitation, she adds a rectal thermometer and pot of Vaseline to her basket. "We'll see how he is behaving tonight before I decide which one to use", she thinks as she heads to the check out.