I went about my tasks of cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen. Most everything (except the beer) in the refrigerator was going to be thrown out. It wasn't really going to take long, not more than a couple of hours since I wasn't in a rush and didn't have competing sexual activities to deal with. But I did a thorough job of cleaning the kitchen including the shelves in the cabinets, the stove and the refrigerator. I decided to close the sheer curtains while I was cleaning the cabinet shelves. I thought that while I was doing my naked cleaning of those shelves, it would have been too much of a sight. I took the bag of items to be dropped in the dumpster and put it by the apartment door.

When I was working in the bathroom my mind drifted to how much fun was had in the bathroom; all the enemas given and even more expelled by Catie and I and the few that were expelled here by Jody. All in such a short time. My mind drifted beyond just the filling of the enema bags and the filling/being filled by the enemas. It was the sexual nature of the expulsions that we explored. I was thinking about the times when I sat on the edge of the toilet while expelling and having my cock sucked. But equally as fun for me were the times when Catie was sitting on the edge of the porcelain expelling, her legs spread so that I could gain access to her labia lips and penetrate her pussy with my tongue. I also did the same thing with Jody when she joined us.

I was nearly done cleaning all the bathroom fixtures while I was remembering all of this when there was a knock at the door. I considered whether I should answer the door considering I was naked. I walked to the front door and looked through the peephole to determine whether I needed to put my clothes on and answer it. It was Jody and she looked to be alone. I thought it was ironic that I had just been thinking of her and there she was.

"Jody, are you alone?" I asked through the door. She said she was and wondered if I needed any help.

I opened the door, staying behind it to let her in. She saw I was naked.

"Doing your naked house cleaning thing, I see," she said. Catie had told her about that.

"Yes. You know, I was just thinking about you. I was thinking about the times you were here and we all played together. I wish we had done more," I said.

"Me, too! Sorry I haven't had much time to talk with you, " she said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm hanging in there. But there have been some tough moments," I said. "How about you?"

"I still can't believe she's gone," Jody said.

"I still hope it's just a bad free dream I'm having. But here I am clearing out her apartment."

"Do you need any help," she asked.

"No, I'm mostly done," I said. "I thought you'd be watching the game."

She told me it was pretty boring so far. I apologized for not having anything to sit on. We sat down on the floor and just talked. I finally asked if she wanted me to put my clothes on. She told me no, she liked looking at me this way and that she felt like she should take her clothes off. I left that totally up to her. She kept her clothes on, though.

We talked about Catie's relationship with me and what I was planning to do next since she had died. She asked about Catie's pregnancy in the context of some of our multiple sex partners and whether we would have continued our swapping lifestyle.

"Do you want to know if I am the father?" I corrected myself a moment later..."was the father? Yes, I was the father of the children we were going to have."

"It was an accidental pregnancy. Catie was immensely happy and relieved that I said 'yes' without hesitation when she first told me. Was she scared? Yes! So was I and I had been down the fatherhood road before. But to hear the joy and excitement in her voice knowing that she was going to be a mom and that she had me as her loving partner..."

I teared up then as I teared up just now, writing this.

"...gives me some comfort."

Jody came over and hugged me and sat beside instead of across from me. I told her that I didn't know what the future would have held for us (swinging/swapping) in the short or long-term.

"Some guys love the look of a pregnant woman. I'm one of them. There's no guarantee, but pregnant sex can be hot."

We continued to talk for a while longer. I realized that I probably needed to get things wrapped up. I got up and started to get dressed, commenting on the value of "naked therapy." Jody asked me if I had plans for the evening and if I'd like to have dinner with her and Mark. I told that I didn't have any definite plans, but asked if I could get back to her. She told me to give her a call and she left.

After taking the garbage out to the dumpster, there wasn't much left. I would take Catie's answering machine in the morning. The phone would stay because it belonged to Ma' Bell. I called Carol and left her a message on her answering machine. I called my hotel and had them ring my room. There was no answer.

I drove back to the hotel in a snow shower. When I arrived back at my room, I found the room key I had given Carol and a note. She told me what a nice guy I was, she really enjoyed our time together, and could tell why Catie and I hit it off so well, both as a friend and as her lover. She told me that Catie was lucky to have me as her lover and as a threesome she imagined that it would have been wonderful. But...although the sex was great, she felt I was too old for her and she was too young for me and that could be a problem. That, and Catie would always be the connection between us.

She closed the note with the statement that she hoped that I wasn't angry and that I wouldn't hate her ending this way because there were some special experiences that we had that she would remember fondly. She also told me to call her and let her know how I was doing. And then there was the kiss at the bottom of the note that she left with her lipstick.

There was a touch of sadness for me associated with the note. There was also a sense of relief. I picked up the phone and called Carol and got her answering machine again. I was leaving her a message that I had returned and gotten her note. I was in the middle of telling her that I, too, had a really fun time that I would remember and that I wasn't angry and didn't hate her. I agreed that there was a mismatch in age and that this was probably never destined to be anything but short-term when she picked up the phone (she was evidently screening the call). We talked for a few more minutes. I told her it was likely that I'd be back in Chicago in a couple of weeks and that I'd call her if she'd want me to. She told me to give her a call, and with that we said goodbye.

I called Jody and asked that if the offer for dinner was still open. She told me it was and I spent the evening with them.

During and after dinner we had a lot of really interesting discussion about sex and multiple sexual partners. Though I didn't realize it at the time, I was describing my (learning) experience within a polyamorous relationship. As I grew up, I saw my dad having multiple relationships with women though he kept them compartmentalized (tried to keep one woman from knowing personally about the others). There was always a very uncomfortable tension associated with that, particularly from my adolescent perspective. And, from what I could tell, my dad wasn't having threesomes. This "thing" that Catie and I had been doing was very different. With the first steps beyond our initial relationship, Catie introduced me to Jody and our first threesome. Then, of course, with Abby. Then we expanded to include Ted and Annie and then the entirety of the Minnesota group. It was what had started with Ted and Annie on the train and then the our trip to join the Minnesota group that we spent the most time talking about.

Now the fact that Jody and I had been sexually intimate was not news to Mark. He knew that Catie, Jody, and I had engaged in a weekend threesome very early on in September. But since then Jody and I hadn't been sexually involved, mostly because our lives had been so busy. I knew that if Jody had wanted to have personal time with me, Catie would have approved. But Mark was also "conflicted" from a more conventional male perspective about having monogamous relationships with female partners. He could see that both Jody and I were doing something that excited us but was instigated through Catie (satisfying Catie was the way he rationalized it). From what I could tell, the idea of having sex with two women in a threesome was appealing to Mark and he curious about how that worked as a practical matter.

Catie and Jody had talked about our experiences with Ted and Annie as well as the Minnesota group (sex). But, she hadn't heard my perspective on it. She knew Catie thoroughly enjoyed it and that Catie was so enthralled and thankful that she had a partner (me) who was willing to share her as well as sharing the experience with her. At one level we did speak of it from a perspective of fairness. It was much more than that. It was a level of trust that we started with and were growing into as these relationships expanded. It was so new to the two of us and very exciting. The thing Jody was really most interested in during this conversation was how it was for me to not only participate with other male partners in fucking Catie, but what it was like watching Catie get fucked by multiple male partners. I knew she was asking so Mark could hear my perspective on that (not being the only male inside a women that I cared for and loved).

Outside of the conversations I had with Catie or what I had written in my journal, this was the first time I described watching Catie being fucked by six other guys. Did I feel any jealousy? No, because Catie and I were emotionally attached to one another. This was just part of our relationship. Some other guy might be (physically) more endowed or a better lover. But watching her in ecstasy while dealing with multiple cocks was just incredibly erotic.

I could tell that my matter of fact conversation about it and the experiences that Catie and I had got the two of them quite horny and that I should probably go back to the hotel. I told them I would probably be coming through Chicago in a couple of weeks and told them that I'd call them.

Once back at the hotel, I called Abby. It had been several days since I last talked with her. She, like me, realized that the shock and numbness had sort of worn off. She was back in school and that helped but the house felt so empty. She and her dad were doing okay under the circumstances. We talked for nearly an hour.

"I want you to know that your brothers asked about our relationship. They wanted to know if there was something going on between you and I."

"What did you tell them?" she asked.

"I told them 'Yes and no.' I told them that they were likely to discover that your sister was a lot more complex than they might have known." I told her that I didn't reveal much but they had their suspicions that we're sexually involved. I told her that she might get some questioning about that.

"Remember, you're an adult. I didn't deny our relationship and didn't lie about it. I know it's a family thing. It just wasn't my place to tell them all about it. But you should know before they get back, probably tomorrow." We said goodnight and hung up. It had been an emotionally draining day.

It was a cold morning when I left the hotel to meet with Catie's apartment complex manager. I had bought a disposable camera to take pictures of the vacated apartment. I went to Catie's apartment and made a couple of calls to terminate Catie's phone service and to transfer her electrical service back to the apartment complex. I asked about leaving the phone or disconnecting and turning it it. Because it didn't have a phone jack, they told me to leave it and they would pick it up.

I met with the complex manager and we did a quick walkthrough. There were no issues. Catie's brothers had already given the address for the refund of the deposit check. I gave the phone company and the electricity provider the same information. I checked Catie's mailbox one last time, signed the document indicating that the apartment had been vacated and there were no issues, and turned over the keys. I had already dropped off a change of address form to send her mail to Portland, Oregon.

The apartment manager told me, once again, she was so sorry for my loss. I told her thank you and that I was, too. She had my contact information if anything came up but most anything else would be handled by Catie's family after this.

I drove back to the hotel and finished packing. Although the local news was abuzz about the Chicago Bear's win, I wasn't much into it on this day. I relaxed in my room for a while and finally checked out. I drove to the airport, turned in my rental car, checked my luggage, and went to my departure gate.

The flight home was uneventful and I went directly to my house after landing. It was good to spend some time with my son and be in a normal schedule. The week was busy in finishing up the course I was going to present in Denver in two weeks. My son was going to be away with his mom the next weekend, so I took the opportunity to drive to West Virginia to go skiing and get a couple of more days in on my skis before going to Colorado. I skied at Winterplace and stayed in Bluefield, WV (there weren't many places to stay nearby back in those days). They were bright and sunny days and I spent my time on the intermediate slopes and moved up to a couple of the black diamond "expert" slopes. They were challenging, particularly skiing on what is known as "death cookies."

In between trips, I went to be tested for any sexually transmitted diseases. Nothing turned up (which was a relief).