I had a physical last week with the Nurse Practitioner who works with my PCP. I have had appointments with her several times over the past couple of years but this was the first time I had seen her for my yearly physical. Unlike my PCP, who has me undressed to my white briefs for my physicals, she had me remain clothed throughout the exam and just had me lift my shirt at times. However, when it came time for the DRE and testicular exam she had me drop my pants to my ankles and asked me to lower my briefs below my knees. As she manipulated my testicles I instantly looked to the ceiling without even thinking about it. That’s my natural reaction. I look away at these points in the exams and think about something else than what is really happening. I've never had an erection during an exam. The thought of having an erection during an exam mortified me in my youth so I think I've trained my mind to instantly go elsewhere during those points in medical examinations. But, to be honest, I do enjoy thinking about these exams afterward, as many of us Zity members do, and then erections definitely happen then!

Conversely, I have seen a dermatologist physician assistant for a full body skin exam (every 3 years) twice now. She is young (probably not 30 yet) but extremely intelligent and competent. She has removed a couple of moles that were benign so I am on a three year schedule for full body exams. She, like most medical providers, likes to talk throughout the exam; both explaining the process of her examination, but, also, various topics. During these exams I start out in my white briefs and a gown. She has me raise and lower my gown to conduct the exam. For clarification, I have no problem talking with my doctors and other medical staff while being undressed in just my briefs. I find it slightly exciting but I am also very comfortable sitting in my briefs and talking with people and not feeling too awkward about being the only one in the room in underwear. Maybe just the right amount of awkward. 😜

I also give direct eye contact with all my medical providers during examinations but, I think in all instances, my doctors and nurses have remained silent during those parts of exams that are “more intimate” like the parts of the exam that occur in areas that would otherwise be covered by underwear. I feel like it is kind of an unwritten rule of medical exams. They explain what they are going to do, and give me instructions of what they need me to do (like pull down my underwear, etc.), but then the medical providers were quiet while actually performing the intimate exam/procedure.

This is not what my dermatologist does! She continues to talk and I (uncomfortably) keep feeling like I need to give her eye contact while she is speaking to me even when she isn't directly looking at me in my eyes/face because her eyes are focused on performing the examination in some of the more intimate areas. Most of the skin exam is performed while I sit on the exam table in my briefs and gown. As the exam goes on eventually the gown is off my body and draped across my lap covering the front of my briefs (although the rest of my underwear is exposed on the sides and back). Near the end of the exam she asks that I stand up and set the gown aside and she wheels her stool (while sitting on it) away a few feet from the exam table. She asks me to approach her and stand in front of her while she does a visual scan of the front side of my body. For visual context, I am standing there in just my white briefs looking down at her (because she is seated on her stool) while she is looking over my skin. I feel obligated to look at her because she keeps talking to me even though what I really want to do is look at the ceiling! I have spent decades putting my mind elsewhere at these points in my exams. It’s kind of crazy but I think my eyes must be doing this dance of looking at the ceiling, then darting back to look down at her because I have this natural instinct (like most of us) to look at someone when they are talking to us. It momentarily gets easier when she asks me to turn around so she can visually scan the back side of my body. Then it gets worse. She asks me to pull my briefs down below my knees so she can look at my buttocks and hip area. Still no problem because I can focus my eyes in the distance and put my mind far away from the reality of standing nearly naked in the presence of someone fully clothed. For me, being in my underwear is just the right amount of embarrassment. Being nearly naked is a little too much embarrassment. It’s at this point she requests that I turn around so she can visually scan my groin area. [Full disclosure: I have a benign condition (Angiokeratoma of Fordyce) which causes red purplish spots on my scrotum. Once or twice a year one of those spots will burst and leave a small drop of blood in my underwear. Usually during strenuous activity on extremely hot days.] She then tells me that she will look at my scrotum. That’s my cue to lift my penis up out of the way and she proceeds to manipulate my testicles. The whole process of looking at my scrotum takes less than a minute but she continues to talk the whole time and I can’t stop myself from looking down at her even though I would rather be looking at the ceiling!!

The first exam with her caught me completely off guard. I am standing upright nearly naked with my underwear pulled down below my knees and there is a woman with her face less than a foot away from my groin. Without any conscious thought my mind IMMEDIATELY and UNEXPECTEDLY went to the only other time in my life where this scenario has happened–which was when I was on the fortunate end of receiving something from a girlfriend or my wife that was definitely not medical!!! My eyes immediately shot back up to the ceiling and literally started to think of kittens and puppies playing to get my mind out of that moment! I am so thankful that as I glanced down at my PA that she did not look back at me. I fear that if she looked up at me with open eyes and we made eye contact I would have violated my cardinal rule of never getting an erection during a medical exam! I don’t know if this is true for anybody else, but for me, when a woman gives me eye contact during a peak in fellatio…well, that sends me over the top! I am so thankful that I was able to…ahem…maintain my composure! Three years later, during my second exam with this PA, I was better prepared and was able to maintain my “ceiling protocol” 😂