Me: It's a bit warm, don't you think?

The friend: No, I don't find it particularly warm. I'm OK.

Me: Maybe I just need to take off my pullover.

I'm feeling quite warm.

The friend: Really? I actually find it's quite cold today. Maybe you start to get sick. Are you feeling OK?

Me: Yes, I'm fine thanks. I'm sure it's nothing.

The friend: Let me check... (putting the hand on my forehead). You're actually rather warm (comparing with his own forehead). Maybe you have a fever!

Me: No worries, I'm sure it's all fine. Where were we... (taking off the sweater).

The friend: I think we should check your temperature to be sure you're not getting sick.

Me: Honestly, I'm fine. Just forget about it.

The friend: What's the harm? It's better being safe then sorry. Especially with everything going around right now.

Me: Well, I'll check when I get home.

The friend: I think we should check right away. Don't make a fuss about it! I'll go and get the thermometer (stands up). Just stay here on the sofa. I'll be back in a sec.

Me: Ok, but...

The friend: No buts.

After a while.

The friend: My ear thermometer seems to have a problem with the battery, but I have this old thermometer from when I grew up (showing the glass thermometer). Anyway, that's the one I'm mostly using myself.

Me: We also had one just like that when I grew up. I used to hate it! No worries, I'll check my temperature first thing when I get home.

The Friend: It's actually not too bad and it doesn't hurt a bit if you do it right. You just need to take off your jeans.

Me: You're not seriously thinking we're going to stick that up my butt? No way!

The friend: Would you prefer to put it in your mouth? (smiling).

Me: No...

The friend: Then don't be such a princess and take off your trousers!

Me: Seriously?

The friend: Yes. We need to make sure you're fine. Especially with our upcoming hike tomorrow. It would be irresponsible otherwise.

Me: You are really a pain sometimes... One could almost think you are enjoying this.

The friend: (grinning)

Me: (standing up, slowly unbuttoning the jeans, pulling them down and taking them off).

The friend: Good boy, that wasn't too hard, was it? (laughing and sitting down comfortably on the middle of the sofa)! I think it's the easiest if you lay down over my lap, facing this side (pointing to his left side).

Me: Oh man, are you sure? I mean, I can do it myself in your bedroom.

The friend: It needs to be done properly and beside that, we can't take the risk of you cheating (smiling and blinking with one eye).

Me: This feels really embarrassing. Are you sure there isn't another way we could do it?

The friend: What are you afraid of?

Me: Nothing, just don't like the idea of this (reluctantly laying down in the sofa over the friend's lap).

The friend: No worries. This is always how we did it in our family and it's important to take care of your health. OK, I need to pull down your boxershorts. This will be over in 5 Minutes (shaking down the thermometer and putting some KY jelly on the tip of the thermometer). Just relax (parting the buttocks with the thumb and index finger). Now it'll feel a bit cold (putting the tip of the thermometer against my hole, letting it rest there for a while before slowly inserting it).

Me: Geez, it feels cold...!

The friend: Soon it won't feel cold anymore. Good boy (laughing, patting my buttocks)

Me: Oh shut up, will you!

The friend: You see, it's not that bad. It even seems as if you like it, judging what I feel against my knees (smiling).

Me: Sorry, it's really embarrassing! I don't know why it happened and I hoped you wouldn't notice!

The friend: No worries. That can happen to anyone, also happens to me. If you are a good boy for the remaining three minutes, maybe I'll allow you to take my temperature as well, just to be sure. Better being safe then sorry!