PART IV

This had been the most stressful day of Gracie’s life. She thought her day off from school was going to be spent at the mall with her best friend Gabby, but her mother had other ideas. Now she sat with her legs dangling off an examination table nervously waiting for her new doctor to return. “What’s taking them so long mom? I’m ready to get out of here!” Her mother smiled warmly. “I’m sure they’ll be back soon sweetie. There are quite a few tools and instruments that a doctor might use during a pelvic exam. You need to be patient.” Gracie’s blood ran cold. Tools? Instruments? Hadn’t she already been through enough? What kind of equipment would the doctor even need to use on her? All of these questions stirred in her head until there was another knock on the door.

Doctor Perkins entered the room accompanied by Nurse Lisa, who was pushing a large cart. “Hello again Gracie!” Doctor Perkins said cheerfully. “Are you ready to continue?” “The only thing I’m ready to do is leave,” Gracie said coldly. “Watch your attitude young lady,” her mother scolded. Doctor Perkins put his hand up to intervene. “It’s quite alright Mrs. Williams. These exams can be quite taxing, especially if it’s Gracie’s first one. This is a very new experience for her, so I completely understand why she’s a bit upset.” He then turned to Gracie; “We’re almost done here sweetheart. Nurse Lisa is going to get you into position so we can finish our examination.”

Doctor Perkins’ soothing words helped to calm her nerves, but it was only for a minute. “I need you to sit on the edge of the table honey,” Nurse Lisa said in a sappy voice. Gracie did as she was told, her butt practically hanging off the table. “That’s perfect,” the nurse exclaimed. “Now just lay down for me and I’ll take care of the rest!” She assumed the awkward position as Nurse Lisa walked to the end of the table. She then picked up a large foam pad. “Could you lift your bottom off the table slightly? I need to slide this underneath you.” Gracie hoisted herself off of the table and the nurse quickly slid the pad into position. She then subsequently guided Gracie’s feet into their matching boots. After securing her ankles and knees with velcro, her legs were completely immobile. Gracie tried to sit up, but the nurse pushed her back down. “You’re doing so great dear, just bear with me for a couple more minutes!” With that she wrapped another piece of velcro just below Gracie’s breasts to prevent her from sitting up again.

“She’s all ready for you Doctor,” Nurse Lisa declared. Doctor Perkins closed his laptop and walked over to the table. “Excellent! Thanks so much Lisa!” He then turned to Gracie. “Do you have any questions before I begin?” Although she had been quiet throughout her exam, Gracie’s emotions took over. “Why did you have to strap me down to the table?!” Doctor Perkins patted her head. “I know they’re uncomfortable, but since this is your first exam, it’s important that you don’t move. I will be using several instruments that could injure you if you move suddenly. Does that make sense?” When Gracie didn’t respond, Doctor Perkins opened a drawer and took out a familiar white sheet. “I’ll take that as a yes, sweetie,” the doctor chuckled.

Once the drape was placed over her lower body, he raised her gown as far as the velcro would allow. Although her private parts were shielded by the drape, she immediately threw her hands down to cover herself. Doctor Perkins shot her a stern look. “Mrs. Williams, would you mind holding Gracie’s hands while I conduct the examination? I’m afraid they’ll get in the way.” Savannah simply nodded and walked behind her to secure her wrists above her head. “Shhhh darling, this will all be over soon.”

“Appreciate your help, Mrs. Williams,” the doctor continued. “Any allergies to latex Gracie?” “Not that I know of,” she replied. With that, the nurse wheeled the cart to the side of the table. After removing the covering, Doctor Perkins snapped on a pair of gloves. He then pushed her legs apart as far as they would go, leaving the drape as Gracie’s only modesty. “Since you’re only eighteen, I will not be conducting a PAP smear, but I would still like to do an internal exam to make sure you’ve developed properly.” Gracie’s mom raised her hand. “I know she doesn’t need one doctor, but could you explain to her what a PAP smear is?” “Absolutely!” Doctor Perkins said. “A PAP smear involves scraping cells from your cervix using a small spatula. Lucky for you, most girls don’t need this procedure until they turn twenty one.” Gracie nodded and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

With that, Doctor Perkins brought a light down from the ceiling and positioned it directly between Gracie’s spread out legs. “Just like I did with your breast exam, I’ll start with a visual inspection of your external genitalia. The most important thing you can do is to keep your pelvic muscles relaxed. The exam will be much easier if you do. He then turned the light on and pushed the drape above her stomach, fully exposing her.

Gracie immediately felt the hot lamp on her body. Its beam directly focused on her vagina. Even worse, she now had a stranger staring intently at the most private part of her body. The longer the silence went on, the faster Gracie’s heart raced. “Visually, I don’t see any lesions or areas of concern,” Doctor Perkins proclaimed. “One thing I do notice is the absence of pubic hair.” Her face turned beet red. “Oh.. umm… I like to shave it.” “That’s fine,” the doctor smiled gently. “Even though I don’t recommend it, be sure to pay extra attention when you shave down there to avoid cutting yourself.” “Yessir,” she said meekly, her face still fire engine red.

Without hesitation, Doctor Perkins continued on. “I’m going to examine you externally now Gracie.” “I thought he just did that,” Gracie questioned to herself. “If everything looks okay, why can’t I leave yet?!” Doctor Perkins’ voice again brought her back to reality. “You’ll feel me touch you now.” Sure enough, Gracie felt the doctor’s gloved fingers make contact with her outer labia. Her eyes got as big as saucers. No one, except for her parents, had ever seen her private parts before! Now, she was on full display for a complete stranger! She tried to adjust to the first set of fingers, but they were soon joined by a second set that began to spread her lips open. “Urethral opening is normal,” he said to the nurse, who had opened the laptop and began to jot down notes.

His hands disappeared for a moment, but they quickly returned, only this time they were much lower. “Just going to have a quick look at your bottom dear. Stay relaxed for me.” With that, Doctor Perkins spread her cheeks, revealing her anus. Suddenly, she felt the tip of his index finger on her sphincter. Gracie began to squirm on the table, but the exam was over just as fast as it had begun. “Her anal area is free of any external hemorrhoids or growths.” “Whew. I’m glad that’s over with,” she thought. I can’t imagine if he actually stuck his finger…” Without warning, she felt her vaginal lips being pulled apart to the max. She gasped at this sudden invasion, but Doctor Perkins did not break stride. He started to prod her opening, but Gracie immediately began to whimper. “Hmmm,” he said, a bit perplexed. “Could you hand me a small cotton swab Lisa?” He temporarily released his hands from her labia, giving the teen a much needed break.

Just as she was starting to relax, she again felt Doctor Perkins separate her. “I’m going to insert this through your hymen Gracie. It will only take a few seconds.” She braced herself as she felt the object begin to circle her opening. Before she knew it, Doctor Perkins was standing up and handing the swab to the nurse. After removing his gloves, he walked over to Gracie and her mother. “After examining her introitus, I’ve determined that she has a condition called “Vaginismus,” which would explain why she has difficulty inserting tampons.” “What are the treatment options?” Savannah asked nervously. “Surgery is one option, but I would like to try manual dilation before we discuss that,” Doctor Perkins stated. Savannah nodded in agreement.

Gracie was confused. “What’s dilation?” “I’m glad you asked,” Doctor Perkins said as he snapped on another pair of gloves. Once he positioned himself between her legs, he held up a large cylindrical device. “This is called a vaginal dilator. Once lubricated, I will insert this through your vaginal canal to help stretch you a bit. It will make examining you internally a bit easier. With that, Doctor Perkins began to coat the outside of the device with jelly. “That thing looks like a cucumber,” Gracie thought. “How in the world is that going to fit inside me?” The doctor gently spread her vulva, to which Gracie again let out a loud gasp. Suddenly, she felt a cold, slimy substance covering her opening. “Alright sweetheart, I’m going to insert the dilator now. The more relaxed you are, the easier this will be.”

He then looked directly at her mother. “Make sure you’re holding her hands. This will be quite uncomfortable.” After a brief silence, Gracie felt the object pressing against her vagina. “Big deep breaths for me.” Doctor Perkins then pushed the tip of the dilator through her opening. She attempted to sit up, but her mother’s iron grip on her wrists made it impossible. Savannah kissed her on the head. “Shhhh honey, I know it’s uncomfortable, but this will only make it worse. Let the doctor do his job.” Doctor Perkins smiled at her sympathetically. “If you feel the need to stop at any time, please let me know. I’m not here to hurt you.” The doctor’s soothing words made her feel a bit better, but it was short lived. “Another big breath for me.” With that, he pushed the largest part of the device through her maidenhood.

Instantly, she felt a searing pain between her legs. “Owww! Please stop,” Gracie wailed, tears streaming down her face. “The worst is over,” Doctor Perkins cooed. Once she had calmed down, he finished sliding the instrument into her. Again, she groaned. “The dilator has been fully inserted,” the doctor said, standing up. “Before I remove it, I need you to hold still for ten minutes. Doing so will allow your vaginal muscles to expand slightly.” “Ten minutes?” Gracie thought. “How in the world am I going to last that long like this?” With each passing minute, the pressure and fullness she was experiencing became almost unbearable.

Finally, Doctor Perkins sat back down between her legs. “Alrighty Grace, let’s see what we’re working with.” Slowly but surely, she felt the device exiting, her thighs shaking as it brushed past her irritated opening. Still trying to recover, she felt the doctor’s hands gently opening her lips. After another long look, he rose from his seat. “Gracie has a mild form of vaginismus that can be cured with proper treatment,” Doctor Perkins said. “Simple Kegel exercises, paired with vaginal dilation will help to relax your muscles, and in turn, should allow you to use a tampon. I’ll have Nurse Lisa give you a workout regimine, as well as a set of dilators.” Suddenly, his face became serious. “You’ll need to make sure you keep a diligent routine, or these symptoms will return.” While the doctor was talking, Gracie couldn’t help but notice the tips of his gloved fingers had a bit of blood on them. He sensed her nervousness and gave her a comforting smile. “It’s not uncommon for there to be a bit of bleeding after dilation. I recommend using a pad the next day or so, just in case you have some additional spotting.”

“There’s no way I’m going to put that thing inside me again,” she thought. “I don’t care if my symptoms come back, that was…” “Gracie, are you ready to continue? Gracie? GRACIE!” “I’m sorry,” she said wearily. “I’m getting lost in thought. Are we almost done?” “We’ve still got a few more tests to conduct before we get you out of here,” Doctor Perkins said. He continued on. “I’m going to do a quick internal exam now sweetie.” With that, he handed the girl a scary looking tool. “With our younger and first time patients, I like to familiarize them with the equipment we use.” Gracie quietly stared at the object, her face mixed with curiosity and anxiousness. “This is called a speculum,” the doctor said, retrieving the instrument. “Just like the dilator I used earlier, it goes inside your vagina. Once inserted, I will gently open it to inspect your cervix. Although this can be a bit uncomfortable, it will only take a few minutes. Do you have any questions?” “With the way he explained that speculum to me, you’d have thought he was advertising it on an infomercial,” she thought to herself, slightly annoyed. Instead of telling that to him, she simply nodded her head.

After sitting down, Doctor Perkins grabbed a familiar white tube. “Since you don’t need a pap test, I’m going to use extra lubricant to make this as comfortable as possible.” Gracie watched intently as the doctor smeared the bills of the speculum with jelly. “Remember to stay nice and relaxed for me, and this will be over before you know it.” He then glanced at Savannah. “Mrs. Williams, I’m going to be using a very small speculum on Gracie. Given her petite stature, it’s not surprising that she’s quite small down there. Using one this size will not damage her hymen in any way.” The young girl sighed helplessly as the doctor’s fingers parted her. “Great,” she thought. “First, he calls my boobs small and now my privates too?! What else could go wrong?” He nuzzled the tool between her girly parts, resting it at her entrance. Grace immediately tensed up as the icy metal tool began to penetrate her.

“You’re doing great so far princess,” the doctor praised. “Do me a favor and try your best to keep your muscles down here relaxed.” Gracie concentrated hard, but yelped loudly as Doctor Perkins quickly slid the rest of the speculum inside her. The girl couldn’t help but beam inside. “I handled that so much better than the dilator! I thought this would be way worse than…” Suddenly, the speculum started to expand, stretching her vaginal tissue more than it had ever been. Overwhelmed, Gracie began to cry softly. “I know baby, I know,” her mom said, squeezing her hand. The doctor has to make sure everything is healthy inside.” Gracie felt air rush into her vagina, as the speculum, now fully expanded, held open her previous untouched flesh. “I know it’s a little uncomfortable dear,” Doctor Perkins said, grabbing a small penlight. “Another minute and we’ll be all done.” “A little uncomfortable?!” Gracie thought to herself. “My privates feel like they’re about to explode!”

"Her cervix appears normal,” Doctor Perkins announced, breaking another long silence. Without warning, he began to rotate the speculum, causing her to cringe. “Lisa,” the doctor said, turning towards the nurse, “could you add that Gracie’s vaginal walls seem to be a bit inflamed.” Doctor Perkins smiled sympathetically as he began to close the speculum. “Don’t worry kiddo, it’s perfectly normal to have a bit of inflammation after an exam like this, especially since it’s your first one. If you’re still having issues after a few days, call back and we’ll get it taken care of.” Gracie nodded wearily, content that this invasive exam was finally ending. Doctor Perkins began to slide the speculum out, causing Gracie to whimper slightly as the metal brushed past her still tender opening. “All done sweetheart,” Doctor Perkins said soothingly, placing the speculum back on the cart. “Thank you for being such a trooper for me. Just a quick manual exam and we’ll be all done!” The girl’s heart sank. She had been poked, prodded, and spread to no end. What else could possibly be left?

“How… How do you do that?” Gracie asked, trying her best to stay calm. “Nothing to be nervous about,” Doctor Perkins said. “A manual exam allows me to get a feel for your internal reproductive organs and make sure there are no unusual growths. It’s a pretty simple exam.” The girl was still confused on what was going to happen until she watched him squirt even more lubricant onto his index finger. “His finger is going to go inside me,” Gracie thought, her blood running cold. “This exam is usually conducted with two fingers, but I’m only going to use one today,” Doctor Perkins said, cutting into the girl’s thoughts. For the umpteenth time, she felt her vaginal lips being spread apart. Just like before, the doctor applied the jelly around her opening. “Big deep breath hon,” Doctor Perkins said. Gracie did as she was told, but nothing prepared her for what was next. His gooey finger quickly slid into her vaginal canal, causing her to groan.

“Doing great so far,” Doctor Perkins said, now standing between her open legs. “Do me a favor, and try your best to squeeze around my finger.” Gracie felt dirty as her muscles clenched tightly around his digit, almost as if she were trying to push it out. “Excellent!” the doctor announced. “Your pelvic floor muscles are very healthy! You can relax now.” Doctor Perkins quickly rotated his finger around, palpating Gracie’s virginal canal. “Vaginal walls feel normal.” After placing his left hand on her lower belly, he pushed the entire length of his finger inside until he found her cervix. Gracie winced as the doctor pushed down on her pubic mound, to palpate the organ. “Texture and shape of the cervix is fine,” Doctor Perkins said, looking at the girl. “Mom, what does that…” Gracie gasped as the doctor began to wiggle her uterus back and forth, causing more tears to flow down her cheeks. “Almost done darling,” Savannah said, stroking her hair. “Keep being a brave girl for momma.”

“Gracie’s uterus is slightly retroverted,” Doctor Perkins said, his finger still buried inside the girl. “This could be part of the reason for her inconsistent bowel movements.” “That explains a lot,” Savannah murmured, rubbing her daughter’s shoulder. “It’s nice to finally know what was causing her problem.” Gracie’s face turned beet red. “I can’t believe the doctor and my mom are talking about my bathroom habits! The way they’re babbling, you’d think they’d be discussing what we’re having for dinner tonight.!” “Just need to check your ovaries and you’ll be all set dear,” Doctor Perkins said, snapping Gracie out of her trance. The doctor firmly pushed on her belly, attempting to find her ovary. “There is the left one,” the doctor said, quickly shifting the position of his hand on her abdomen. “Annnd… there is the right one. Good! I didn’t feel any cysts or growths on either ovary,” he said, slowly sliding his finger out of her.

With the ache in her tummy gone, Gracie couldn’t help but smile wearily. “I did it!,” she thought “I made it through the entire exam!” Suddenly, she felt something between her legs. Large globs of lubricant began to seep out of her vaginal opening and onto the foam pad below. “Ah! Ummm…. doctor?” Gracie exclaimed, her voice trembling. Doctor Perkins quickly grabbed a paper towel and handed it to the frazzled girl. “As soon as you get yourself cleaned up, you’re free to leave,” Doctor Perkins said, releasing one of her legs from the velcro. “You’re a perfectly healthy teenager. Good luck at college next fall!”

“Mr. Perkins, if I may,” interjected Savannah. “At the beginning of your examination, you mentioned giving Gracie an enema to help with her constipation.” “MOM!” Gracie said through gritted teeth, “I don’t need one of those!” “Thank you so much for the reminder Mrs. Williams,” Doctor Perkins said. “After all that went on, I completely forgot about that. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll have one ready to go!” With that, he walked out, leaving the poor girl wondering what had just happened.