Helen walked into the lobby of the old stone building. It was the School of Medicine at the Springfield Men’s College. Even though her husband had worked at the university and adjoining hospital for many years, it was her first time in the building where he taught classes. After talking with the receptionist, Helen was led down a maze of hallways and into a small exam room. There was barely enough space for the two of them and the furniture. It had the usual metal exam table with vinyl upholstery on top, a rolling stool at one end, a storage cabinet, and a sink in the corner. The table was covered with paper, and a folded medical gown was placed at one end.

“So…” She hesitated. “Do I need to change into…” Helen asked nervously, gesturing to the gown.

The receptionist looked at her clipboard for a moment. “No. That will not be necessary.” She replied with a sympathetic smile.

“Oh, good.” Helen sighed with relief. While she had known this day was coming for quite some time, she did not really know what to expect.

“The doctor will be here shortly.” The receptionist said as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Helen sat on the paper covered table and looked around. Although it was an academic building, the room was set up just like typical medical exam rooms she had been in before. There was a blood pressure cuff hanging on the wall next to an illuminated scope for inspecting noses and ears. On the far wall was a poster showing internal organs, diagrams of muscle groups, and detailed closeups of reproductive organs. She was glad she did not have to change into the gown. The graphic imagery of genitals got her mind wandering and her heart racing. She imagined some patients were not as lucky as she was, and they did have to change into gowns. Poor girls, having to bare themselves to both a teaching doctor and a student or two. Or it could just as well be an examination of boys. She imagined them sitting right where she was now, nervously dreading an ill-timed erection in front of others. All sorts of embarrassment has probably befallen many patients in this room. While Helen was a bit nervous, she realized it probably could have been much worse. She thought back to the real reason she was here.

Earlier in the summer Helen had been out with some of her girl friends celebrating one of their birthdays, and she had too much to drink. After a long night at a club she was outside waiting for a taxi, and all the drinks were catching up to her in more ways than one. It was not in her usual nature, but the urge was overwhelming so she hiked up her dress, squatted down next to a parked car, and relieved herself. The large puddle of pee between her feet began to run downhill, across the sidewalk. As she watched it in fascination, she noticed a pair of black boots just to the side of the stream. Looking up she found a policeman watching her.

“You should not be doing this here.” The policeman said in a deep, serious tone.

She finished her pee as quick as she could and stood up, stumbling in the process.

“I couldn’t help it, officer. I really really had to go bad. It just happened.”

“Ma’m, your dress.” The officer pointed.

Helen’s dress was still up around her waist, exposing her front and back to the others on the sidewalk.

“Oops!” She shrieked. While struggling to pull her dress back down, she stumbled back against the parked car and triggered the car alarm. Startled, she spun around and backed into the police officer. The car alarm caused everyone outside the club to turn and see her trying to restore her dress to its proper position while pressing her bare ass against the officer’s leg.

“Alright. That’s enough. I’m writing you a citation.” He said.

“Nooo! Please noooo!” She yelled, grabbing his arm and shaking it.

“Should I add assaulting a police officer to the list?” He asked with a very stern voice, shaking her hands free from his arm.

She began to cry, sobbing into her hands. The officer handed her the citation as her friends came to assist her towards a waiting taxi.

At the hearing she had been thoroughly embarrassed as her charges and behavior were read out loud for all the courtroom to hear. When given a chance to speak she apologized and begged for leniency. The judge was willing to reduce the charges a little bit, and assigned her 100 hours of community service cleaning up litter along city streets. That’s when her husband had stepped forward and come to her rescue.

“Your honor, may I make a suggestion?” He asked.

The judge paused, about ready to finalize the sentence.

“I am a doctor, and I teach at the university medical school. We are always in need of volunteers to be patients in the classroom. Would you consider letting her work her hours as a practice patient for the students?”

“Hmm. You’re not testing medication are you?” The judge asked.

“No, your honor. The volunteers are used only as practice patients for examinations, lectures, and demonstrations. Typical procedures a person would expect during a regular office exam.”

The judge thought about it for a moment. “Helping the students would be good service.” He turned to Helen.

“This sounds like a reasonable alternative. It may be a bit more personal in nature, and is certainly more than just simple manual labor. If I reduced your sentence to 50 hours of volunteer patient service at the university, would that be acceptable to you?”

“Yes, your honor. Thank you.” Helen eagerly agreed. She was so happy for the reduction from 100 hours down to 50.

Helen smiled at her husband. She planned to give him a very special thank you when they got home.

After a few minutes there was a brief knock on the exam room door and it opened. In walked her husband wearing his white lab coat. He closed the door behind him.

“It’s so good to see you.” She hopped down and gave him a kiss.

“Remember.” He said. “No one is to know we are husband and wife. The students will assume you are just another anonymous volunteer.”

“Got it.” She said, trying to sound formal.

“I will refer to you as Patient.” He continued. “You will refer to me as Doctor. There is no need for you to directly address the students.” He explained.

“I understand, Doctor.” She answered, doing her best to play the role.

“There will not be much direct communication with you today. I would request you do not speak unless spoken to. And when that does happen, a simple yes or no will suffice. Otherwise, silence on your part will best allow the lesson to be delivered without distraction.”

“Yes, Doctor.” She confirmed. His air of authority when working like this was very attractive.

“Class will begin in a few minutes. I will see you soon.” He turned and left the room.

Helen was left wanting a goodbye kiss. She still had a few nerves, but knowing her husband was overseeing it all helped to put her mind at ease.

After what felt like 30 minutes, but was really only 3, there was another knock on the door and the receptionist entered.

“OK. It’s time for class to start.” She announced. “You can follow me.”

Helen was surprised. She thought the doctor and student were coming to this little exam room. Wasn’t that what her husband had said? She hopped down off the table and followed the receptionist. They went down a few more halls, around a corner, and then through a double door labeled THEATER 1.