Over the next few days, Marissa continued to make progress. Her speech got better and she was able to sit up on her own, though only for short periods of time as she still tired easily. Her lab results improved a little each day.

Braxton put Gael and Irene in touch with Edgar Cline, a psychologist he had known for many years. They had an appointment with him and came away feeling like he could help them deal with their feelings about what their daughter had been through and their years of not knowing where she was or what had happened to her.

Dr Quenton Cameron from Psychiatry came to see Marissa the morning after Dr Hale made the referral. Braxton was on his break, and Gael and Irene went for an early lunch to give them privacy. “Hello, Marissa”, he greeted her. “It's nice to meet you.”

“Hi. I still can't talk as ...well … as I used to. But I am …. better”, she replied, apologizing for pausing after a few words.

“Do not worry about that, Marissa. Take as much time as you need to talk”, he reassured her.

“Thank you.”

“Now, I want to make sure you know why I'm here.” Quenton always asked his new patients this right off the bat. He liked to make sure they understood why they were seeing him.

“Dr Hale referred me to you. I … need my Zoloft.”

“Yes, that is one reason. I have a copy of the prescription Dr Lambert gave you in Seattle and I will put an order for it in your chart. I take it that it is helping with your depression?”

“It was, but I haven't had it … since … for however long I've been ...in hospital.” Marissa had lost track of the days and how long it had been since Dr Cardenas took her out of the compound.

“According to your chart, you were taken to the hospital in Syracuse a week ago.”

“It's been that long? Maybe ...I don't need to go … back on it. Other than ... being sore, I feel … fine.” She didn't want to take medication if she didn't have to.

“Do you really feel 'fine', Marissa? You told the ER physician in Syracuse that you wanted to die.” Quenton had read Marissa's charts from Denver and Syracuse. There was some information on what she'd been through, but he was sure there was much more to it. In over 20 years of practice, he had had patients who'd been victims of all sorts of abuse, from sexual to domestic but he'd never had one who had been in a drug cartel. He hoped he would be able to help her.

Marissa was confused. She didn't remember saying that. “Did I?”

“Apparently, you did. Don't you remember?” Quenton felt she was being genuine. Over the years, he had had quite a few patients who claimed to not remember something they did not want to talk about. He could usually tell if they were being truthful or not.

“No, I don't remember very much.”

“What do you remember?”

Marissa thought for a moment, trying to call up memories of being in the ER. She just couldn't remember it. “I don't remember anything from the ...ER”, she replied. “I'm sorry.”

“What about from before that? Do you remember being kidnapped?”

“Vaguely. I was visiting Charlie and … he started running away from me...”

“Who is Charlie? Your boyfriend?” Quenton hadn't seen anything about a boyfriend or anyone named Charlie in her chart.

Marissa giggled. “No. Charlie is … is my steer.”

“Oh. Are you raising him yourself?”

“I did. He's full grown.” Seeing the doctor's puzzled look, he added “I was raising him for … for meat.” She hated saying the words 'for meat' in relation to Charlie. “But I got too attached to him and I … couldn't … ship him, so he's my pet.”

“I don't think I've every heard of a pet steer before.”

“Charlie is one of a kind.... if you know Dr Maynard … ask him about Charlie.... he's met him. He has pictures … of him. I don't have any here… or I would … show you.”

“Okay, I will. Let's get back to what you remember. You remember being kidnapped. What about after that?”

“They took me to an ...airport...” Marissa told him about the trip to NY and what happened at the compound. She couldn't remember anything after Dr Cardenas took care of her in the cell until Braxton got to the ICU in Syracuse.

“You don't remember wanting to die?” the psychiatrist asked, bringing the conversation back to that.

“No. Why do you ….keep asking me?” Marissa was getting annoyed by the question.

“I'm just making sure. Do you want to die now?”

“NO!” It came out louder than she'd intended.

“I see this is upsetting you.”

“If you don't stop … I'll throw you... out of here.” Marissa obviously did not mean literally, but she knew she could request that he leave if she wanted. She wasn't obligated to speak with him.

“I think we will stop for today, Marissa. It seems you have had enough. Regarding the Zoloft, I'll leave it up to you if you want to take it or not. Does it give you side effects?”

“No, I've been lucky … with that.”

“Then what is the harm in going back on it? You have nothing to lose, and maybe it will help you feel better.”

“Okay”, she acquiesced. “I will go back … on it.”

“I'll put in the order, and I will be back to see you tomorrow.”

“I am sorry, Dr Cameron.” Marissa winced as the pain in her back suddenly intensified.

Quenton noticed and asked “What is it? Are you in pain?”

“Yes”, she replied through clenched teeth.

“I'm going to get Dr Hale and see if you can have something for it.” He was back in a few minutes with the ICU attending physician.

“I hear you're having increased pain”, Dr Hale said to her. “Where does it hurt?” Marissa showed him. “I'm going to get the portable ultrasound machine and take a look. Hang in there.” He left the room.

“I'll stay with you while you wait, if you like”, Dr Cameron offered.

Marissa gratefully accepted. “Thank you. I'd rather ...my parents not find out...unless it's necessary. I'm sorry … for being so cranky ...with you.”

“You are in pain. Pain makes people irritable. Not to worry, I've had patients who were a lot crankier than that.” He smiled. Marissa gave him a small smile back through her discomfort.

Dr Hale did the ultrasound and found another kidney stone in Marissa's ureter, above the one that was stuck. He gave Marissa some pain medication and consulted with Gideon Maynard on what to do. Dr Maynard determined that the stones had to come out of her ureter - today. He was worried about how she would handle anesthesia in her weakened state, but there wasn't much choice. He called the anesthesiology department to see if they could do a regional block and conscious sedation instead.

Vance Olson went to the ICU and talked to Silas Hale. He looked at Marissa's chart and at her test results before speaking with Dr Maynard. “Gideon, I agree that general anesthesia is riskier than normal with this patient. However, I don't like the idea of doing conscious sedation on her as I can't control her breathing with that. With general anesthesia, she'd be on a vent which would breathe for her. I think that is the way to go if this procedure absolutely has to be done today. I can give her some steroids before and after the procedure to help her lungs.”

“Thanks, Vance. It absolutely does have to be done today, unfortunately. I'll go talk to her parents and get their consent. She's not capable of giving informed consent herself.” Gideon had been thinking about talking to Silas about cancelling the declaration of incompetence on Marissa in the near future, once her labs improved some more. She was with it most of the time now, but not always - especially when she needed more pain meds. However, her surgery might set that back a bit, depending on how she handled the anesthesia.

“I'll go with you in case they have any questions for me.” The two men headed for Marissa's room, where Gael and Irene were waiting. The oncologist had talked to them while waiting for Vance to get to the unit.

“Is the operation a go?” Gael asked. The worry was evident on the faces of the Brennans. Gideon felt bad for them. They had been through so much with Marissa and it wasn't over yet. He thought of Caitlin and what he'd do if it was her lying in that bed.

“Yes, it is”, he replied. “Providing you consent, of course.”

“I will consent to whatever you need to do for Rissa. Just please get her better.” The Brennan patriarch was choking up. It was killing him and his wife to see their daughter going through all this.

“Okay, but first we need to explain what we are going to do and the risks.” Gideon told them everything, holding nothing back. Hellish as it was, they had to know the risks, benefits and options in order to truly give informed consent. When he was finished, Marissa's parents asked a few questions of both him and Vance before Gael signed the consent form.

While Marissa was in surgery, Braxton returned from his break. When he walked into her room and found it empty with the bedding changed, he feared the worst. Tears formed in his eyes, thinking that Marissa was dead.

A nurse entered the room. “I saw you come in, Braxton. Marissa has been taken to surgery. Her parents are in the surgical waiting room.”

Braxton breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God. I thought she had ...” He let the sentence trail off.

“No, she is still very much with us. I'll tell you how to get down there.”

Five minutes later, he joined Gael and Marissa to wait for Marissa's surgery to be over. They filled him in on what was going on. He saw how stressed they were, so he talked to them about that for a bit, using his training to help them since they weren't seeing their therapist again for a few more days.

After what seemed like forever, Gideon and another man in scrubs came out and approached them. “This is Dr Erik Garza, he's the urologist who did the operation. I was just there to watch.”

“How is our daughter?” Gael asked after introductions were made.

“Marissa is in recovery”, Dr Garza responded. “She'll be there for an hour. I wasn't able to break the large stone up with sound waves, which would have been the preferred way to deal with them. So I had to go in and cut the ureter open to get it out. I put a stent in to widen the ureter at that spot, so hopefully no more stones will get stuck there. She is doing as well as she can do under the circumstances.”

“That is a relief. Thank you.”

Irene had her own questions. “Why didn't you just take the kidney out since she was under anesthesia anyway?”

“That would have required a much more invasive procedure”, Gideon explained. “Marissa isn't strong enough for that yet.”

“Does this mean she doesn't need that tube any longer?”

“Yes. The drainage tube was removed, but we left the one that is in the kidney there in case there is another blockage. Hopefully, that won't happen, but if it does, we can just hook up another drainage tube without doing a nephrostomy again.”

“When can we see her?” Irene asked.

“When she is back in her room - in about an hour. They are taking good care of her in Recovery”, Gideon reassured her.

“She still has to be in the ICU?” Gael asked. He had been hoping Marissa could go to a regular room.

Gideon ran his hands through his silver-grey hair. “Yes, for now. I'm hoping she can get out of there in the next few days - if the anesthesia doesn't set her back. I'll come out and let you know when we're taking her to her room.”

Irene sat with her hands over her face, quietly sobbing. Gael put his arm around her. “I don't know how much more of this I can take”, she sobbed. “I know I shouldn't feel this way, Marissa has it far worse than I do.”

Braxton had been sitting silently, but he decided it was time to jump in. “You have every right to your feelings, Irene. And that is coming from a psychologist.” He smiled at her.

Irene looked over at him. “Thank you, Braxton. I really appreciate you saying that.”

“It's true. Any parent would break down going through this. Frankly, I'm surprised that neither of you have done it before now. Especially back in Syracuse when Marissa was so close to dying.” He continued to talk to them for the next hour, until Marissa was taken to her room.

Gideon Maynard accompanied her up to the ICU. He had had clinic appointments in the morning, but his afternoon was free. He'd been doing charting when he got the call about her being in so much pain. If he had to, he'd take the charts home and work on them after supper.

The ICU nurses got Marissa settled in her bed. She was still on oxygen, but had been off the cardiac monitor for a while. Dr Hale had written orders for it to be back on for a couple days after the surgery, just to be cautious. He was concerned about her undergoing anesthesia in such a weak state. Once Marissa was settled, the nurses and Gideon exited the room, leaving her parents and Braxton alone with her. Marissa was still groggy from the anesthesia. Braxton suggested Gael and Irene go get coffee or an early supper if they wanted, as their daughter would probably sleep for the next few hours.

When he was alone with her, Braxton pulled a chair up to her bed. He slipped his hand through the rail and gently grasped her good hand. “How are you feeling, pumpkin?” he asked.

“Tired. What happened?”

“You had to have a procedure to get the stones out of your ureter. Didn't they tell you?”

“They said they had to do something ... but I can't remember what.”

“Another stone got into your ureter - that's what was causing you so much pain. It couldn't get past the one that was stuck there. They couldn't leave it like that until you have the kidney removed because that is a few weeks away. You would be in too much pain and that would hinder your recovery from what happened at the compound. Your dad gave them permission to operate.” Braxton stood up and lowered the rail on the bed. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead before sitting down beside her. “Go to sleep, sweetie. I'll sit here with you until you do.” He took her hand again. She squeezed his.

“I'm so glad you are here”, Marissa said as she closed her eyes.

Braxton held her hand in both of his as he whispered “I wouldn't be anywhere else”.

Marissa finally caught a break and had an uneventful recovery from her procedure. Dr Cameron came to see her every day, but he waited until a few days later to talk about anything substantial. Now that she was back on Zoloft and much of her pain was gone, she was more amenable to opening up to him. To her surprise, she found him easy to talk to once she gave him a chance.

After spending two weeks total in the Intensive Care Units of the Syracuse and Denver hospitals, Marissa was transferred to a regular bed on the medical ward. Gideon Maynard, her parents and Braxton were there to accompany her, but before the porters arrived to take her, the ICU staff had a surprise “graduation” celebration with cake and a card signed by all the doctors and nurses who'd taken care of her. They did this for every patient who had been in the unit for longer than a week.

When they got to her new room, Marissa asked Gideon how long she would have to be there for. “If you continue to improve, I'm hoping to release you next week, but you have to go to my house for a while where I can keep a close eye on you. If I could do it, I'd not let you out of my sight until I get that kidney out.”

“When will that be, Gideon?” Irene asked.

“Not until after the new year, I'm afraid. Marissa needs to get her strength back before she can undergo such a major operation without significant risk. If you need to go back home, your daughter will be in good hands”, he reassured her.

“We may have to do that”, Gael broke in. “Children's services are getting antsy about the foster kids being at the farm and the problems we've had with the Cartel. We may need to go home and deal with that.”

Marissa was visibly upset at hearing this. “Daddy, you aren't going to lose them because of me, are you?” Her speech was now back to normal, to her relief.

“I hope we don't lose them, honey, but if we do, it is not your fault.”

“I'm going home with you. I will tell them I will move out if I have to.” Marissa couldn't stand the thought of her parents losing the foster children that they wanted to adopt. Much as they kept telling her that her being in the Cartel wasn't her fault, she couldn't help but feel that if she'd just stayed away instead of going back home, none of this wouldn't be happening.

“You will not come home until Gideon says you can and that is final”, Irene said in a firm tone of voice.

Braxton saw that Marissa was getting upset. “All right, let's talk about something else”, he suggested. “This is a happy time, Marissa is out of the ICU and well on her way to recovery.” They chatted for a while longer, then Gael and Irene went to get their supper and Gideon went home. “How are you doing?” Braxton asked after they had left.

“Very happy to be out of the ICU”, she responded. “I can't wait to get out of the hospital altogether, but I don't want to impose on Gideon and his family.”

“It won't be an imposition. They want you to stay with them. I will be there, too. If your parents have to go home, you will not be alone”, he told her.

Marissa wasn't comforted. “But you have to get back to your job.”

“No, I do not.”

“Of course, you do.” Seeing the look on his face, she asked “What did you do, quit? Oh, Braxton, you should not have done that!”

“Why not? It wasn't what I wanted to be doing, and I don't like LA. It is too hot, there are too many people and traffic is horrid. I love being closer to my sister, but I don't want to be there for the rest of my life.”

“What will you do, Braxton?” Marissa could understand why he didn't like LA, but how would he support himself?

Braxton pulled a chair closer to her bed and sat down. “I don't have to do anything right away. I have enough money saved to last a while and my sister would buy my house in a heartbeat. She loves it and has said if I ever want to sell, to let her know.”

“Where would you move to? Back here to Denver?”

“I don't know. I was thinking maybe Canada”, he replied with a smile.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I've been looking into getting licensed as a therapist up there and it appears to be fairly easy, I'd have to take a course in ethics and submit a ton of paperwork, but I have some of it and can get what I don't have. I might want to set up practice in a town in Alberta if the area can handle another psychologist.” He winked at her.

Marissa decided to tease him. “Oh? Any town in particular?”

“One that's warm in the winter”, he teased back.

Marissa laughed. “You will not find that in Alberta!”

“Oh, Marissa, you don't know how good it is to hear you laugh.” Braxton pulled a tissue out of the box on the table beside her bed and dabbed at his eyes. “I didn't think I'd ever hear it again. I think I need a Marissa hug. Or should that be a Rissa hug?”

“Only Daddy is allowed to call me that. You will have to find your own pet name for me”, she teased. “I'm happy to give you a hug, though.” Braxton lowered the rail on her bed and sat down, taking her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him. “You know, you really shouldn't have quit your job.”

“It may have been a bit hotheaded”, he admitted.

Marissa looked up at him. “Hot headed? How?”

Braxton sighed. “I asked for a leave of absence so I could be with you through your recovery and your cancer treatment. They didn't want to give it to me because I've been there less than a year. I told them either they give me the leave or I quit and my department head asked when they could expect my resignation.”

“Oops. Did you send it?”

“I did, but first I got an agreement to give me a good reference, though I had to go to the Dean for that, but he understood my wanting the leave of absence when I told him why. It's okay, don't feel bad for me, I'm happy to be out of there now that it's done.” It was the truth, he was thrilled to not have to be working in the same place and department as Amber. He had dreaded facing her after breaking off with her, but now he wouldn't have to worry about that.

“You really didn't like not being in practice, did you?” she asked as she rested her head on his chest.

“I missed it almost as much as I missed you”, he replied, planning to tell her about Amber some day, but not today. He put his hand under her chin and tipped her head back, then kissed her on the lips, just as Gael and Irene walked into the room.